Y2kk Update: ... uggh... you can bet your ass I'm tired...

I just finished writing and proof-reading a goddam 69 page SRS document for my goddam Software Engineering class... Sure, my partners in that course did most of the writing work for me... But I hate doing any work, goddammit!... And if I'm going to have to go through 69 fucking pages of shit, I would like some goddam action myself, 69 style, from a fucking hot girl at least...

... Elektra and her mom at the same time would do quite nicely, thank you very much...

... and, well... the sad thing is, no matter how detailed our SRS document is, I just know that the goddam professor is going to rip us apart... half for writing too damn much, and half for not writing goddam enough... uggh...

... and now it's snowing...

... it's snowing up here in the GTA, at least a foot or two tonight...

... which means I get to break out the shovel yet again... and beat myself over the head with an ugly stick until its all goddam said and done...

... so yeah, you can bet you're ass I'm tired...

... I need a fucking vacation...

...

... Short story short, it's been a long week for me. On all accounts, to say the least... with some things for better or worse, actually...

... *cough* obsession *cough*...

... but, ahem... I digress...

This was the week of the NBA trade deadline. And considering how fucking much the Toronto Raptors suck, and considering I now officially won't get to see any goddam NHL hockey this season, the NBA tradeline was supposed to be my only goddam thrill for the whole fucking year... All I've been looking forward to for the past six months, is a goddam Raptors trade that didn't suck as much as that lameass Vince Carter one did... I literally sat by a computer for three hours straight before the trade deadline, constantly refreshing the browser screen in the faint, dismal, Richie Pedophile hope of actually getting a decent player or two for the team...

... and then fucking Rob Babcock, current GM (at least for now...) of the Toronto Raptors, blatantly says at a fucking press conference... that even though we're one of the worst teams in the entire league right now... even though almost half of our goddam locker room has demanded to been traded... even though the fucking coach is attacking his players, while goddam cats and dogs are living together in harmony... that, well?... Babcock still thinks we're a good enough team to actually make a run at the playoffs... and that we're good enough right now, to not make a trade?!...

What the fuck is he smoking?!... his own goddam cock, that's what...

... this is coming from the same guy, who traded away our only superstar for three disgruntled players, who literally have an average of 1PPG combined when player for the Toronto Raptors?... three players who will still be fucking up the Raptors balance sheets two years from now, even after buying out the most expensive player?... WHAT THE FUCK?!?...

... uggh...

... I've definitely got a headache...

... and to make matters worse, I had fucking nightmares about the whole thing later that night...

What kind of nightmares?...

... well...

... let's just say... it really is the year of the cock...

... indeed...

... and a happy, very belated Chinese New Year goes out to all my peeps in arms out there... holla if yer hear me, playa...

...

Now, believe me. A lot of weird things happened to me this week...

... *cough* obsession *hack* slut *cough*...

... but I won't write about them all on this website of mine...

... not yet, anyhew... not when I still have a fucking midterm to study for...

... I will mention one thing before I go though...

I was definitely caught off guard last Monday, when one of my friends from third year came up to me, and told me that in one of the classes that I failed last year, we had a major lab to do the very next day...

... and, umm... I then checked the course website, and...

... he was right?!...

WHAT THE FUCK?!...

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!?...

... uggh...

... yeah, well...

... time to fail the course again, eh?...

... not quite yet, at least...

I still had half of a day to prepare for the lab. Of course, that would've required me to actually relearn the entire damn course to just do the damn prelab, let alone understand what the fuck to do in the lab, but I digress...

I had a better plan though...

We could have partners for the lab. So I tried to track down one of those motherfucking friends of mine in third year, who promised me at the start of the year that he'd be my partner in Control Systems... I was already pissed at him for not telling me about the goddam lab date. But, well... still, I was letting that slide, since...

... Sure, he should've learned his lesson, after the fiasco of us partnering up for the Electricity and Magnetism assignment last year. He still blames me for that, don't you know... But hey, he said "yes" this year to me, didn't he?...

... the only problem is... goddammit, I think he actually did learn his lesson...

Because by the time I finally caught up to him at night, hoping he had the prelab done, guess the hell what?...

He already had a partner for the lab...

... he... fucking... ditched... me...

.... WHAT... THE... FUCK?!?...

GRRR!!! ARGGHHH!!!...

I should kick his ass and take his name!...

... well... I can take his name, at least...

... yeah, well...

... he was a fucking traitor. So what?... What else could I do, right?...

I only had a couple hours left to relearn the whole damn course and do the damn prelab. The thing is, I've been through the whole course once before. Hell, I've done this exact same lab last year... I didn't pay attention to it the first time. I didn't learn anything from it the first time. And I sure as hell wasn't going to learn anything from it the second time around...

... so instead of doing my work... I started spamming all my Control Systems profs through the wonderful world of e-mail...

... I begged them to just transfer my lab marks from last year to this year, since I was too damn busy with the SRS project that I just handed in today (which was half true, at least)...

... and then instead of doing any work, I simply went to bed...

... woke up the next morning, checked my e-mail, and guess the hell what?...

... heh...

... they did what I asked...

WOOHOO! They gave me perfect on the lab I didn't do!

Nice.

A hard day's work done then...

... of course, then they humiliated me...

Soon after, they posted on the course website a big fat notice, that whoever failed the course last year, is now allowed to transfer their old lab mark to this year...

... I wasn't the only one who failed the course, but... judging from the website and the fact that only one mark was entered into the course database at that point in time?... yeah... they were kinda specifically pointing the finger at me...

... oh well, AOL... a perfect lab mark, is a perfect lab mark...

Now, the sad thing is... I got perfect on the lab last year... and I still failed the fucking course?...

... uggh... yeah... suddenly, I'm tired all over again...

... and the snow is still piling up outside...

... let it snow, my ass...

... so time to pile drive myself into a slew of slave work, and call it a good day's worth of work...

... because it all sounds like so much goddam fun, now doesn't it?...

... well... maybe it will be...

... if only I do get my goddam iron engineering ring this week...

Y2kk Update: Long time no update, I see?...

... nothing out of the ordinary?...

... well, something weird was just bound to happen in my life, knowing the odds...

You see, I was just idly waiting around at my town's train station to go to school last Wednesday morning, when a face that I really didn't expect to see (and never wanted to see again, mind you), sort of reared its ugly ass at me...

Now, I don't know if it was really her or not, but she definitely did look like one of those annoying bitches from my high school past (though not one that I ever liked... god no... shudder...)... But still, I pretended not to see her, just in the remote case that this was someone I knew from the past... I'm like a turtle in that way - I clam all up and duck for cover, whenever I meet someone unexpectedly that I haven't seen in months or years... And to be honest, I even doubt that it was her from my old high school. The woman I knew was all into business last time I checked, and this girl had some sort of art portfolio thingy hanging off the back of her neck... Times change and people can too I guess, but I don't know... regardless of whether it was her or not, I just shrugged it all off and laid low until she left...

Not like it matters, but I guess I'll never know who that girl was at the train station... But I do know one thing though - after getting off of the train at Toronto Union Station, and as I was starting my daily trek on foot towards university, I started thinking back to all the other girls and bitches that I did like and dislike back in high school... and by the time I was strolling through Eatons Center, there was one girl in particular on my mind... and I don't know why...

... maybe it was just because of all the Asians in the damn mall, but I started seeing the "ILuvYou" girl's face on every single one of them... They all seemed like clones of her to me, at least to some extent. And my mind began to wander... my mind began to ponder... over how the fuck I screwed her over in high school...

I mean, I still horribly regret it to this day... I fucked it up twice with her... I mean, she told me that she liked me in grade 11, and yet all I did was hyperventilate, say she was hyped on prozac, and scurry away in panic, never to really hear from her again... And then in my final year of high school? I knew in my heart I should've invited her to the graduation formal dance, if only because she seemed like she was begging for a reason to go. But I kept my damn mouth shut, and went to the formal alone... where I got stuck with goddam pity dances, and yet another regret when it came to my other obsession... but that was a story for a galaxy a long, long time ago...

... and so, everywhere I walked in that goddam, forsaken mall (where nothing has gone right for me in months... check my January posts, if you want some hints as to how), all I saw was that Vietnamese girl's face on every single Asian hottie I saw... I couldn't get her out of my mind for some odd reason, no matter how hard I tried... but I just kept on walking, thinking that gut feeling of mine down below was really nothing to worry about, right?...

... well... every girl reminded me of her that day...

... and then one girl really, really, ridiculously reminded me of her that day...

... because as I was walking by the EB, I saw a certain Asian girl that looked a little too damn close to the ILuvYou girl for comfort...

... then we walked closer...

... and, umm...

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?...

... it was... her?...

WTF?!...

...

... I couldn't believe it... Ironically, the day that I started thinking of her all over again, was the exact damn day that I just happened to run into her for the first time since three years ago? WHAT THE FUCK?...

... but yeah, it was her... so as she was ignoring me, I waved at her...

... yup, it was her... she recognized me (though at first she pretended not to), and she came over...

... with a fucking Asian boyfriend on her arm...

... whatever...

...

So yeah, I tried to play nice with her. Not nice nice, like I had hoped to get some in high school... But I opened up the lines of communication, said hi, and gave her the usual pleasantries of "wow, haven't seen you in so long. Long time, no see. You look nice"... and crap like that...

She just nodded her head in awkwardness, and then asked me how I've been. I said I was in fourth year of university, which was the truth. Obviously, I wasn't going to tell her about my goddam failures, since that really backfired against me the last time I told a high school girl... But the ILuvYou girl wasn't impressed either way. She downplayed my achievement, simply changing the subject to the fact that it'll be damn hard for me to find a job, and then mentioned (as if she was comparing herself to me) that she was attending Ryerson University for business...

... business? WTF?...

... guess I should've figured that... All flower girls lean towards business in the end... She wanted to be a dancer. She wanted to be an artist. She wanted nothing to do with the business world back in high school, so yeah... should've seen it... she would end up in business school...

... I just didn't expect her to go to school... here... in Toronto...

... not when she hated the damn city... or at least, she's hated it for all the years that I've known her...

So out of dejected stupidity, I asked the moronic question, "wow, didn't expect to find that you're still around"... I had tried to mean to her. that I expected her to try to chase her dreams in San Jose or Florida like she wanted to. But I more just sounded stuck up and arrogant instead, as if I was shocked to find out that a) she was still alive, and b) she was smart enough to get into Ryerson... and she probably was offended anyhew, by the reminder that she didn't go to all the places she wanted to in the US, but I digress...

... yeah, either way, she wasn't biting... she didn't want to talk, so...

She mentioned that her sister was going to the University of Toronto for life sciences. I pity the poor girl (although there are a ton of hot and horny girls in life sciences and nursing, if she wants to become a hot, lesbian Asian like we all fetishly wish...)... I then asked her what year she and her sister were in when it came to their studies. But the ILuvYou girl wouldn't answer... either, she was simply sick of talking to me. Or she was in first or second year when she should be in third or fourth, and didn't want to admit it...

... whatever...

That's when she brought up the fake ass excuse. She gave that obvious, "I want to leave... now..." look, as she was contemplating a reason to leave, with her eyes all rolled up high in conniving, girl guide ponderous thought... I guess she ain't so bright though - she only gave me the most obvious excuse of them all: "Oh, I'm sorry. I have to go right now... I need to get to the bank..."...

... uh huh... an emergency to get to the bank... six hours before it closes... and a half hour or more until her next class starts...

... umm, yeah... not the brightest bitch on the block, now is she?...

... but I gave it to her anyways...

... not it, unfortunately...

But a genuine "thank you" and a "good luck with everything", like I generically say to everyone I meet from my past...

... and then she ran off with her boyfriend, like she just saw a white devil ghost or something...

... yeah, whatever...

... but seriously...

WHAT THE FUCK?!?...

...

... I also ran into a few more women from my past over the past week, which was definitely weird in itself...

... but still, what were the fucking chances that the very day I was thinking of her, I ran into the ILuvYou girl completely out of chance and nowhere, after more than three fucking years of radio silence?...

... five by five...

... well, maybe the chances are higher than I assume, considering I still obsess over my high school crushes to this very damn day...

... and then one came back, only to remind me that I'm not the only one who avoids their former high school friends like the bubonic plague...

... because, ay... alas, and a solemn sigh... now there lies the rub...

As they say, if you truly love someone, you'll set them free...

... too bad I never really loved her...

... but yeah, I'm still sorry...

... I'm definitely, still sorry...

... long time, no see... I see...

ATI: Now normally, as an old skool tweaker and dweaker still to some extent, I would only look at the reviews for PCIE X800 cards... But I've still got to get a new computer. And thanks to my limited money source, I'm really only looking towards the X600 and X700 market... Truth be told, I'm probably going to settle for a X600 Pro 256MB ($130 CDN), and then just save up later for the next generation of PCIE Radeon cards. But since it's pretty damn hard to find good reviews for crappy X600 cards, might as well post the reviews for the X700, right?...

Saw over at Rage3d that they just uploaded their own review of the Sapphire Toxic X700 Pro. I doubt I'd pay the $200 cash for that video card, (or bother my schoolmates working at ATI for their 50% discounts... I'll save that for the X800s later on...), but it might be worth a look at the X700 review in case over at: http://www.rage3d.com/content/reviews/video/sapphirex700pt/.

ATI: Well, ATI released Catalyst drivers version 5.2 a while back. Don't know what they improved, but usually there's very little fault in updating your Radeon card's performance. So, go ahead and download the latest build at: http://www.ati.com/support/drivers/winxp/radeonwdm-xp.html.

ATI: Elite Bastards took the above mentioned Catalyst 5.2 drivers, and did their usual performance benchmarks with them. If you're concerned whether installing the drivers will screw with your already fucked up HL2 and KOTOR2 performance, then go ahead and check out: http://www.elitebastards.com/page.php?pageid=9107&head=1&comments=1.

ATI: If you're one of those losers that I hate, who want new Catalyst drivers for Linux systems, then you shuld know that version 8.10.19 was released by ATI. Don't know and don't care what they do, so go ahead and download the binaries or whatever at: http://www.ati.com/support/drivers/linux/radeon-linux.html.

ATI: Well, since I'm still in the hunt for a good PCI-E card, might as well post here a review of the HIS X700Pro Ice PCI-E Radeon. Go ahead and read the report at OverclockerCafe at: http://www.overclockercafe.com/Reviews/VGA/HIS_X700Pro_IceQ/index.htm. There's also another review of the same card over at Tweaknews at: http://www.tweaknews.net/reviews/x700/index.php.

Y2kk Update: Well, obviously nothing has happened in my life the past two weeks, for better or worse at least...

Essentially, all I've really done is procrastinate from doing university homework, by applying to a bunch of computer technical jobs around the Greater Toronto area. Government jobs, mostly... with no word back from anyone, might I add...

I don't really have much to report... I did finally get my broadband internet from Bell Sympatico, although I really don't know whether we got screwed on the billing or not...

You see, I was impressed at the start. Bell sent us our 802.11b DSL router free of charge through XpressPost, which was pretty damn fast if you ask me... a little too fast, actually... considering to save money, we had asked the salesman to put our names down for January 17th, in order to get our modem as late as the end of January (the later, the better for us)... the only problem was, even after he nodded his head and wrote the right date down, we still got the modem on January 16th I think... since the lying son of a bitch probably couldn't wait to get his commission pay...

But oh well, AOL, right? So what if I get broadband a week or two earlier... A deal is still a deal right?... well, yes and no... You see, the asshole who sold us the ADSL internet, said that we were getting a special promotion only for our area, where we get a free month and six months at half price. He claimed that the rest of Canada was stuck with just three months at half price at best... of course, the next week I checked the papers, and lo and behold, our exact damn deal was being broadcasted to every single Canadian for broadband...

... lying son of a Janestown bitch...

Well, when we finally did get our Bell Sympatico router, I hooked it up and followed all the easy USB instructions and all, when... umm... well...

... the computer claimed that it was able to contact the server and give them all our financial information. Which technically means, we should start being billed around January 16th or something... but...

... umm... our internet didn't work...

... fuck, it didn't work for more than two damn weeks... and we better not get charged for that (although the guys over the phone assured me that we won't be... lying sons of bitches, I bet...)...

The reason why the DSL broadband didn't work at my house, was just so damn stupid in the end. And we have that fucking Janestown asshole of a bitch to blame for that... We had explicitly asked him to bill us on one phone line, and allow us to use DSL on the other (we have two phone lines in the house). And to be honest, I didn't think that would be a problem. And neither did he, since he just nodded and forked over a pen to sign...

The thing is, the damn Bell Sympatico servers refused to synchronize with our DSL router modem, since I was using it on my phone line... and their computers refused to let us use it on anything but the phone line that we were being billed on... Sure, I could just fix this with a lengthy phone call to Bell. But I just rolled my eyes in contempt at that fucking salesman who fucked us over with smiles, and merely changed over the phone line I was using with the switch downstairs (not like it matters afterall; the phone filters that Bell gave us seemed to prevent any static from seeping into my mother's phone line anyhew...)...

So now I have broadband... and yet still, I'm uploading all my webpage crap over dial-up...

... sigh... some things never change...

Well, before I go, I might as well complain that my friend (who ditched me in Economics for someone who literally hasn't done a damn thing for their project) kinda acted like an asshole again... I mean, sure it was mainly my fault this time around. We were having a MSN Messenger conversation, and I was purposely being my idiot self afterall. I was complaining about the Toronto Raptors, as always, and I purposely played devil's advocate by wanting our fucking GM to follow the Maple Leafs' "Win Now" Philosophy with trades (though not New York's "Lose Now with $100 million+ in salaries" philosophy... there is a difference...)...

My friend is one of those predictable guys, who jump on the bandwagon for teams like Detroit, Phoenix, and hell, even Chicago for now... that we should go through years and years of rebuilding the franchise (with completely tanked seasons, of course) until we finally and just suddenly one year, have a championship calibre team...

The thing is, I'm like the average Maple Leaf fan. We all want championships (hell, we're dying over here... 1967, afterall...), but we'd still watch every single game and attend every single home match-up with season tickets, if only we just had a NBA team damn exciting enough to win pretty much every regular season night... Hell, if the Leafs almost got buried by the fans in the 80s when they were losing so damn badly (and that was for Canadian hockey...), what the hell will happen to the Raptors if they keep losing each and every damn year like they have been? We're already eating our tickets... So I played devil's advocate over MSN the other week. He brought up how we should rebuild for the next two or three years, and thus the fucking Vince Carter trade wasn't so bad... and I played the asshole who challenged that conventional wisdom of his... although I think I played the role just a little too well...

Half way through our conversation, he just abruptly interrupted, "I gotta go", and then shut down MSN Messenger... Obviously, he was pissed off as hell that I wasn't budging on my opinion. And as for me? Well, I actually started laughing... I had no idea that he would take my comments so seriously. I mean, sure I'm goddam annoying when it comes to fucking complaining about fucking Toronto sports teams, but... still... He actually stormed off of MSN because of me? I actually scared him off? WTF? That's never happened to me with anyone else before... I think...

Well, he apologized for his abrupt departure a few days later, and of course I apologized back, saying it was all my fault, which was true, but... Well, to be honest, I haven't talked to him that much actually, since that day happened. And to be honest? I don't know whether it's because I'm just bugging him less these days, or because he still feels a bit guilty... or because he hates his new Economics partner, but... I honestly think he's been nicer to me the past two weeks than he ever has, since at least when I embarrassed myself in front of his relatives... of course, that ain't saying much, but...

... yeah, nothing has really happened in my life, besides all that...

... hell... except for the mountains of homework that I'm still procrastinating from, I'm so damn bored...

... that I don't even have a punchline...