Y2kk Update: Alright, now this sure as hell has been some fucked up weather as of late...

I guess it was only matter of time until the snow would start piling up outside that doorway. But honestly, it's been brutal this year. After a completely mild and tame inauguration to winter in December (where we didn't even get a fucking white Christmas, goddammit), it's been just a complete onslaught of some of the coldest damn weather I have ever experienced in my life...

... well, in Toronto, at least...

... I'm sure the losers up in Winnipeg and Montreal are laughing their arses off at my complaints, if only they weren't too buried in snow to access the fucking internet, that is...

And to be honest? Yeah, TO is buried in snow too. A quiet, quaint, quilt of a fucking bucket of snow on every goddam doorstep...

This past week, there was another downpour of the most goddam depressing white shit I've seen outside of rgw movies. And right on cue, obviously the transit buses in my town were anything but on goddam schedule...

I was perfectly content at just staying at home and calling it a day, knowing that it would've taken me an eternity to get to fucking work...

But the problem was, I had already called in for fucking snow days twice in the past fucking week. Sure, maybe the third's time the charm in getting me fired (which I honestly wouldn't mind at this point or another), but seriously WTF is this lazy ass shit if I turn out to be that damn wussy in getting to work? Elementary school? I do have some personal pride, you know. WTF?...

So yeah, I sucked it up and decided to brave the cold and brave the elements. Whatever...

But goddammit, I was freezing my fucking ass off waiting for that goddam bus. It was already about 20 minutes late by that point, when I decided to just give up on standing there in the middle of fucking nowhere, and start just jogging my way to the train station to get some goddam blood circulating again...

That was around the time that finally, goddammit, I saw my bus turning the other cheek along with the corner. Finally, I was about to get some warmth and much needed goddam rest from standing in two or more fucking feet of goddam unfettered and frozen snow...

But the traffic was just so hilariously bad that morning, that not only did I see two fender benders on the same damn corner of the street within a span of twenty fucking minutes, but I also noticed that my bus was moving at a goddam snail of a pace...

... or a walking pace, quite literally, really...

So in my infinite boredom, I concocted a purely dumbass plan. First, I waited for the bus to almost reach my fucking stop finally...

... and then I ran...

I decided to race the fucking bus all the way to the train station. A train station that, by all fair judgments and accounts, is about a 20-25 minute jog from my house (although going downhill does help in the matter)...

And the stupidest fucking thing was, simply because traffic was so fucking slow that day, I literally beat my bus to the next bus stop. And then to the next... and to the next... and to the next...

Rest assured, I was taking rests inbetween. I am by no means a jogger or an athlete, but the traffic was just so goddam pathetically slow that day, that I got all the way to Oakville Place (75% of the way to the train station), before I finally got bored of my little battle and 'bout between the tortoise and the hare, and waited for the damn bus to finally catch up to me (which took another five minutes, thank you very much)...

So really, what was the point of this little venture of mine? Besides the old cliche of nothing ventured, nothing gained?...

Well, at least I can finally tell my grandchildren the truth, that way back in the good ol' days?...

... I literally did walk my way to work, uphill and downhill...

... both ways in the goddam fucking snow...

... in this fucked up weather of ours...

Y2kk Update: Fuck, I got attacked by a bat...

... by a fucking batshit bat in my own goddam fucking room...

How the fuck often can a guy ever say that?...

I mean sure, I've dealt with rodents and pestilence before. Hell, just the other month, I waltzed into my computer room in the morning, only to find a fucking dead mouse sitting lifeless on my chair. And what did I do? It was fucking early in the morning, I didn't give a shit, so I just swatted that rotting carcass away, took my throne back like a real man, and browsed the fucking net. I didn't give two callous shits about that son of a fucking fat rat race bitch...

But a bat? A BAT?!? Seriously, WTF?...

I was just sitting in my room a couple of weeks ago on a Sunday night, playing Phoenix Wright 2 for the Nintendo DS in what was an absolutely awesome jury case. And then what happens, but a fucking black thing just flies into my room staight through my open door, starts flapping about aimlessly, and then makes a fucking B-line straight for my black-hair, covered head? WTF?...

OBJECTION!!!

Immediately, I screamed out like a goddam school girl, "SHIT!", and then I covered my head with the fucking DS as a human body shield as I instinctively ran out of my own fucking room. I immediately slammed the fucking door as the bat was trying to fucking land on my head or some shit like that, right into its fucking smug ass vampire face, I'd like to courageously imagine. I have no idea why it was drawn into my room in the first place or why it loved the prospect of nesting in my goddam fucking hair, as it tried to fuck my FOB haircut twice with its fucking goddam maw and kits. All I do know, is that I ran straight out of that room in a goddam girly panic, and I shut the door on the way out like a real man to prevent that fucking bat from getting out...

HOLD IT!!!

I mean, I couldn't believe it. Seriously, a bat? WTF? First of all, we have never had a bat problem before, and we had just checked the attic a month or two before for this kind of bullshit, guano thing. And second, why the fuck did the bat love my room? Nobody else in the house saw the fucking thing flying about, and nobody had actually left the front door or the garage open since the morning, so where was the fucking thing hiding for the entire fucking day? And third, fuck, it ruined my whole Phoenix Wright experience. Thanks to its batshit insane flying marsupial attack or whatever sort of crap, my DS game got corrupted and I lost the last couple of hours of goddam fucking work. WTF?...

Plus, the fucking bat tried to mess with my hair...

And truth be told? If you mess with the fro, you gotta go...

So yeah, my dad and I returned a moment later with a goddam vengeance, and obviously a hell of a lot of protection. You know, winter jackets, boots, butterfly nets, face masks, the whole nine yards. We were fully armed and prepared and we snuck back into my room in a standard two by two military formation. The thing was, the bat was nowhere to be found. It was fucking hiding on us. WTF?...

Half hour later of searching, my dad was about to give up and call me Peter Petrelli for my goddam wolf cry. We couldn't find the fucking bat, and I was sure it couldn't have gotten out of my room since the door was shut and the winter window was bolted to shit. The thing is though, that's when I started scuffling around in my closet (which the bat shouldn't have been able to get into either), and lo and behold, guess what jumps right back at my fucking face? WTF?...

So that's twice the fucking bat thought that taking a dump in my bloody hell mouth would be a good thing. I of course panicked like any good wuss would, and I fell to my knees while waving a white towel (quite literally) in mid-air, hoping to swat it out of the goddam crimson skies. Of course, my smooth moves under pressure had no real fucking effect on the fucking bat whatsoever, so I was lucky as fuck when my calm as molasses father managed to finally snag the thing with the goddam fish net or whatever the fuck he had smartly brought along...

And fuck, the thing was so tiny when it wasn't flapping its wings no more. It almost looked dead in the way my dad sort of crushed its arms and dreams of mating with my goddam hair. I still had no explanation as to why when I was playing my DS earlier that night, the thing had literally just swooped into my fucking room right through my fucking door and tried to nest with whatever fucking black hair I had left on my fucking head at the time (before I pulled it all out in fright, mind you). It must've thought my silky smooth shit up top was sexy as hell or whatever, as the bat was still eye-balling my Chinese inherited bullshit as it was caught and lodged in the goddam fucking net...

OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR!

Since the bat was obviously in love with both me and my room, it was my job to brave the cold outside and send this thing packing back to wherever it whence came. So yeah, with my jacket and boots in hand and the goddam bat in tow, I brought it outside to the ravine and fucking shook it loose, hoping it would harmlessly fly away thanks to the open winds of the goddam gorge down below...

... unfortunately, my shaking merely smashed it loose on its head into the goddam concrete by my foot instead... but whatever...

... that'll do, bat... that'll do...

Because I will never forget the look that goddam bat gave me that night once it was once again free. It looked so fucking sad as it tried to crawl and stumble about in a frozen state of stupor. It really, really, ridiculously couldn't stand the freezing fucking cold that night, and it had no real home left to go back to, I'd wager. It looked like a frightened child without any real goddam parents there really, as it just stared wistfully at my face and my dark, bottomless eyes and that goddam black hair it so loved to covet and fuck and fuck with so damn fucking much...

WAIT, HOLD IT! HOLD IT, GODDAMMIT, HOLD IT!

... so yeah, that's when I ran my ass off back to the warm as fuck house before the bat could fly back into my fucking goddam follicles once more...

And yeah, sadly, that was my biggest story for the fucking month of February. No shit, eh?...

Because truth be told, I was attacked by a bat. A fucking batshit bat in my own goddam fucking room...

... I didn't cry wolf, but I did cry and squeal like a little school girl three fucking times...

How often does that ever fucking happen?...

... too fucking often, in my own damn cause of a case, at least...

Y2kk Update: Wow... more than an entire fucking month has passed since my last download update...

... life just feels so... meaningless... right now, that's all...

Yeah, yeah, the real question is, when has it ever felt like it had meaning to me? As far as I have ever been concerned, the meaning of life is to find meaning in life, or some goddam bullshit like that...

... been saying that since I was five, mind you...

... goddam fairytales...

But really, I know it's more of the winter blues than anything else, but honestly? I wake up hating life every fucking morning, simply because I fucking have to wake up in the morning. I go to work, to a job that I honestly don't feel any real sense of accomplishment or self actualization at all, not that I have ever honestly believed you can really get either of those two at a fucking job, that is. And then what? I get to work at nine in the morning, slave there doing goddam javascript bullshit for the next nine or ten hours, then finally get home around 8 pm to watch sports and play some goddam video games at night...

That's all life is. That's literally what all my thoughts consist of these days, work and goddam video games. Of course, the real question is, when have I ever dreamed of anything else? But sadly, it's really just starting to get to me, just how often my dreams themselves involve solving problems at work or finishing my crap in goddam video games. Is that really all my life has to offer?...

Bleh, it's not like I'm going through yet another mid-life crisis, as I've been spewing the exact same tired bullshit out since I started this goddam download site of mine back in Grade 11. It's just that, winter here in Canada sucks, as you really can't do anything but fucking work your ass off to forget about the goddam bitter cold. It's been a god awful month for weather, and I just want to get it over and done with, that's all...

The only real glimmer of hope I get comes from my goddam video games and goddam television. The Toronto Raptors have been on a tear as of late, giving me all sorts of hope for the playoffs, but to be honest? I often feel I root too much for the underdog, as sometimes I reminiscence more of last year, when I was actually cheering on the loser scrubs on the Raptors more than I am the successful team of this year. Go figure...

All I talk about at work in the morning around the ever proverbial water cooler are TV shows. All I have to offer are stories about 24, Heroes, and tales of walking to work, uphill and downhill, both ways in the snow. Back when I was working at the government, I literally wasted hours of my day just whining and griping about the Toronto Maple Leafs and Raptors, and I had a damn good time doing it. Yet here, at my current job, I just get no real satisfaction from slacking off. Why is that? Well, besides the fact I never had to walk outside even once in going to and fro from my last job, which was a bonus that I sure as hell miss this year during this goddam winter...

... sigh... I always become the ever maniac, depressive fool whenever winter rolls around, and the ever goddam horny son of a bitch once spring finally returns...

... I think my download site over the past few years has proven that pattern without a shadow of a doubt more than anything else...

Because truth be told, short story short? I am simply sick and tired of being goddam sick and tired all the fucking time, that's all...

And I'm just biding my time now, that's all. Work feels meaningless, but so does life. Nothing stands out, nothing is worth remembering...

... and nothing is worth noting on this goddam website of mine...

Once again, I just have no motivation to write, sans the guilty feeling I get whenever I go a month without updating this website just even once...

I used to have a passion for writing. Didn't I have a passion for writing?

... well, not really, but still?... even so, what happened to that?...

Fuck, I used to try to find meaning in life...

... guess I found out the real meaning then...

I didn't even remember the goddam anniversary of this goddam website...

... whatever...