Some Tips to Piss Off the Advertisers:

Cloaking - I personally like cloaking; you see how it still says http://tweakui.mycrowsoft.com in the little url box in ______ your browser? That's because I'm hiding my real address with, well, the dumb one you're seeomg right now; it's ______ really easy to tell what my real address is (either look into my source code or open up one of my urls in a new ______ window, Victor...), but for most people, cloaking can be quite deceiving

______ - however, some web servers seem to hate cloaking because it covers up their precious little name and they get ______ all pissed off at me for not giving them the extra money they think they deserve, so they put crap into their ______ scripts that disable your website if you use cloaking; however, you should be able to go through that ______ ______ pathetic little security by typing target="_top" wherever ou link out of your site; I've never tried this ______ since cloaking works for me, but experiment with it and report back because I'm too lazy to go to bed right ______ about now

Here's the Shoe Box filled with Lima Beans and Jello in no Particular Order:

123Redirect - requires either a banner or a pop-up

______ - offers addresses like zip-me.to, go-here.to, gotta-get.to, fall-in.to, right-way.to, must-get.to, step-in.to, ______ ______ the-place.to, surf-now.to, fly-over.to, fly-in.to, bring-me.to, zip-over.to, move-in.to, jump-now.to, go-down.to, ______ guide-you.to, movemouse.to, jump-in.to, & ynotgo.to

1Place4All - you can be plagued with a pop-up, a delay page, or here's a neat one: put the banner whereever you want ______ on the page

______ -not the best choices here, but you'll get an url like ivanf.atmypage.com

1st.to - sucks life out of you with a banner

______ - choose between urls like ivanf.channel.ms, 1st.to, take.to, limited.to, and 4free.to

3rd Level - attempts to take money out of your valet but settles for a pop-up banner

______ - gives you an address like ivanf.ven.cc

AliasNames - IvanF's a Member - I'm too lazy to check & too lazy to remember if they use banners, but I think they ______ put a pop-up on every page

______ - I've been a member since 1999 I think, but I've never used their sevice; I kinda like their list of urls to chose ______ from, especially http://pros.at/mycrowsoft; they make me feel so special and saki warm inside

______ - well, if you're not a stuck-up pro with a pole sticking out all 3 holes like me, you can select from the other urls ______ available like adults.at, agents.at, beepers.at, caterers.at, cellphones.at, chatrooms.at, chillin.at, classes.at, ______ clothing.at, collectors.at, computerpros.at, consultants.at (I guess I should get this one for my sister...), ______ ______ cosmeticsurgery.at (I should get this one for my knee...), counseling.at, dabomb.at, daytrips.at, desntists.at, ______ designs.at, discounts.at, donations.at, dropby.at, earn.at, eyes.at, familyfun.at, familyphotos.at, feelgreat.at, ______ fertility.at, financing.at, gamesite.at, getaways.at, getfit.at, gethealthy.at, giftideas.at, greatprices.at, hangin.at, ______ healing.at, healthy.at, hear.at, hobbies.at, homesales.at, homeschooling.at (uh, don't remind me...) & hope.at; as ______ you can tell, these names are pretty creative, so I sure as hell don't want this place to be sold out to V3

______ -and the names go on: hotdeals.at, howto.at, infashion.at, inshape.at, instruction.at, investments.at, ______ ______ investors.at, kidsafe.at, kidzone.at, landscaping.at, lawnservices.at, learnhow.at, learnto.at, legaladvice.at, ______ legalhelp.at, loan.at, medicalcare.at, mentors.at, myfamily.at, newyou.at, openhouse.at, openings.at, ______ ______ opportunities.at, originals.at, originalwork.at, ourfamily.at, oursite.at, pagers.at, parties.at, PCPros.at, ______ ______ PCsales.at, personals.at, personaltouch.at, petsupplies.at, phat.at (huh?), physicians.at, playing.at, positions.at, ______ pressreleases.at, professionals.at, programmers.at, publicservices.at, qualitycare.at, qualitywork.at, reach.at ______ (This used to be the name of this company... no wonder V3 was winning...), reachus.at, recreation.at, ______ ______ reservations.at, salvation.at, schedule.at, sellyourhome.at, sendflowers.at, showing.at, showtimes.at, ______ ______ sportinggoods.at, summerfun.at, supplies.at, supportdesk.at, swapmeets.at, thingstodo.at, trips.at, ______ ______ vacationing.at, vets.at, visioncare.at (uh... I just came out of the shower and me can't see very clearly...), ______ wantads.at, webpros.at (I think I registered for this too, but since I have the memory span of a fish, I, uh... what ______ was I talking about?), winterfun.at, & finally, after my hand split apart 3 times, there's wisebuys.at

Bravenet - IvanF's a Member - um, I no clue what they require, but I know they must at least have banners

______ - offers urls like clix.to, trax.to, clik.to, trak.to, embark.to, committed.to, destined.to, devoted.to, dear.to, ______ wakeup.to, get-me.to, continue.to, & takeoff.to

______ -I've been a member since mid 1999 but I didn't even know about their redirection and I've been too lazy to try ______ them; I signed up to get a forum there, but apparently they won't let me log in yet...

Big Foot - me have no clue if they eat ads or not, but it probably hasn't showered in years

______ - Big Foot is really a e-mail company so the only redirection url you'd get is www.bigfoot.com/~ivanf

Click-on.to - aren't these Brits polite? They're offering us a pop-up ad. Ain't that the cutest thing you've ever seen?

______ - I think there's just one choice here: click-on.to/ivanf

CJB.net - IvanF's a Member - I'm not sure how they get money, but I can't seem to find a banner or pop-up on their ______ pages...; no ads whatsoever

______ - offers addresses like s3savage.cjb.net, pvr.cjb.net, cowing.cjb.net, and mycrosoft.cjb.net; I signed up in early ______ 1999 because I heard cjb didn't have any advertisements, but I was soon disgusted by that .net extension; I am ______ not a fish! Why would I want to be eaten? And worst of all, I just checked my s3savage and cowing accounts ______ and they're deleted! Ok, so no-one ever used those accounts but they were damn fun to collect! Adn worst of ______ all, now someone has my pvr.cjb.net address! Geez, I turn my back for one second and as soon as I look back, I ______ have 15 knives stuck up my arse

Computwin FreeDirect - oh! These guys are original! They've got pop-ups, delay pages, and banners, oh my!

______ - not a bad selection of urls: goin.to, anyone.to, then.to, introduce.to, amuse.to, good.to, visitme.to, fancy.to, & ______ amaze.to; and by the way, if you're smirking by now because I must've made a thousand spelling mistkaes by ______ now, go ahead and try typing for 8 hours straight without any air conditioning, and let's see how proper and ______ Tide tippy you are then!

Cyberlink.to/You - Um, I can't tell if you need a banner or not but this place can't be good; it's selling Viagra on its ______ main page for Christ's sake... well, actually, that makes it pretty good...

______ - only offers one url: cyberlink.to/ivanf

Cybername - IvanF's a Member - requires a pop-up and can probably use a banner too

______ - uses addresses like ivanf.educations.net, ivanf.gamespage.com, resume.biz-page.com, ivanf.mainpage.net ______ (well, those are my addresses; I've been a member since 1998 and, uh... I'm really started to sound like an ______ online advertisement or something... uh oh, teletubbies are coming...)

______ - other addresses include ivanf.comicpage.com, ivan.fans-club.com, ivan.for-kids.com, ivanf.health-page.com, ______ ivanf.moviespage.com, ivan.sexypage.net (well, ain't that as far as you can get from the truth...), ______ ______ ivanf.tv-show.com, ivanf.fan-page.com, ivanf.main-page.com, ivanf.motorpage.com, ivanf.musicpage.com, ______ ivanf.sports-page.net, ivanf.web-page.net, ivanf.arepopular.com, ivanf.isfamous.com, ivanf.issmart.com, ______ ivanf.iscute.com (or just baby cute as the saying goes...), ivanf.isfunny.com, ivanf.issexy.com (you know what ______ I'm thinking... but not with myself of course... um...), & oh, ain't ivanf.issweet.com?

______ -this is for sure one of my favourite redirection services because the list goes on: ivanf.co-ltd.net, ______ ______ ivanf.tourguide.net, ivanf.co-inc.net, ivanf.net-shop.net, ivanf.trading.net, ivanf.au-homepage.com, ______ ______ ivanf.ca-homepage.com (go go Power Rangers! um...), ivanf.fr-homepage.com (it's pronouced "garkonk", not ______ "garcon" you chapeau!), ivanf.jp-homepage.com, ivanf.ru-homepage.com, ivanf.uk-homepage.com, ______ ______ ivanf.it-homepage.com, ivanf.cn-homepage.com, & ivanf.us-homepage.com

Direct.at - IvanF's a Member - well, at least I was... the damn V3 people bought this one out too

______ - um, I kinda forget what addresses I had when I signed up in 1998; I think I had a drive.to/aquinas address or ______ something

DoingBusiness.as - not bad, not bad - they don't offer much, but at least they off it with no ads whatsoever

______ - like I said, they don't offer much: doingbusiness.as/ivanf

Easy.to/Remember - IvanF's a Member - they merged with V3; damn those zip.to bastards...

______ - well, I had an address like easy.to/ivanf or something but that's gone now; I signed up in early 1997 and I ______ actually liked this company.. oh well, AOL, all good things must come to an easy to end...

Easy URL Redirection - it's like a lawyer; it requires a pop-up

______ - offers 2 url domains: onward.to and roads.to

Explode.to - IvanF's a Member - requires a very small banner on top

______ - offers addresses like http://explode.to/cows; I've been a member since 1998 and it's a shame that explode.to ______ ain't doing that well financially; I love how small their banner is and service is always fast, but I just wish they ______ could offer neat little names like "mycrowsoft" or something

EU.org - IvanF's a Member - I think they went bankrupt because no banners or pop-ups were required, only a link to ______ their main page, so no ads whatsoever

______ - too bad this place shut down; I signed up to it in 1998 I think but I never used my address: ______ ______ ______ http://ivanf.eu.org ; I guess I didn't like the org part because it rhymes with a part of the human body...

FindHere - you have a choice to use either a pop-up or banner

______ - only gives one kind of url: http://ivanf.findhere.com

FreeUrl - this is a neat idea: the worst addresses have no ads whatsoever while the better ones suck your blood

______ - the free urls are celebrityurl.com, freeurl.com, & mp3url.com; other urls include www.ivanf.ivanf (I think...), ______ re-direct.to, chee.ky, lasveg.as, devili.sh, & lowco.st

GoNow.to - You get the choice to play with banners, pop-ups, or Russian roulette

______ - has one type or earl too, and no, I'm not from England so there's no need to apologize: http://gonow.to

Help-Me.to - These guys actually have a sense of dignity, because they require no ads whatsoever

______ - the only address you can get is a help-me.to address

Homepad.com - Okay, this people must've came from Earth or something because they force you to use a pop-up or ______ a banner frame

______ -the offer ho hos and urls like homepad.com, pardesi.com, ardenmall.com, bhangra.net (these urls are started to ______ make me hungry...), chatbook.com, easternjewels.com (okay, no need to be so obvious here...), hotresume.net ______ (water... I need water... and a cup...), indianet.org, janneman.org, kohinoor.net, koreaone.net, nasha.com (I ______ wish I can, I wish I can...), pyar.com, sacone.com, sacsingles.com (well, I won't be for long after getting drunk ______ on Pepsi cola...), silkthreads.com (I'll take the Mountain Dew... yes, I'm crazy), singlespad.com, someone.net ______ (this one's for me! Sounds desperate!), somewhere.net, tajmahal.net (well, this is just what I brag about...), ______ toolsone.com, iloveimac.com (menage a macintosh trois...), wildspices.com, bohras.net, bored.org (not with ______ these urls!), gen-next.com, pagehub.com, & genxer.com

Http2 - Well, I think this placed closed down but it was an interesting idea; you would get an address like ______ ______ http2//ivanf.com which looks neato but I think the no colon thing would screw a lot of people up (because ______ your browser actually interprets this as http://http2.com//ivanf.com - ncool idea, Ice Vanilla Snowcone like ______ execution though)

Jaze's IsCool.net - IvanF's a Member - this is always one of my favourite redirection services simly because the ______ names make me feel so cool... Image is nothing. Dos is everything. Drink it up. It does require a pop-up banner ______ though

______ - I signed up back in 1998 when I started the first version of my school homework web-page; I used the address ______ aquinas.iscool.net but I just couldn't lie like that on search engines... well, I still have that address though it's in ______ the cellars somewhere with my notebooks, so here's the other options: ivanf.arecool.net, ivanf.isfun.net, ______ ivan.arefun.net, ivanf.isawesome.net, ivanf.areawesome.net, & the most stylish one, ivanf.tux.nu

Jumping.to - nothing new; wild boards ate the county sheriff and jumping.to requires a pop-up banner

______ - I don't really expect them to last long since I don't like their only url: jumping.to/ivanf

Mine.at - has been bought out by V3, the come.to people so look at them for updates

______ - still gives addresses like mine.to, yours.at, and everything.at

OnTheWeb - well, I tried logging into their site but it gave me the Microsoft thumbs up and kicked me out, so I'm ______ assuming you need pop-up banners or something

______ -I think there are 4 url flavours: ontheweb.nu, kwik.to, isthebe.st, rr.nu, and byinter.net... okay, so I can't count; ______ so sue my fingers or something, me don't care

Over.to - these guys were bought out by www.arrive.com, but they still need to sue you with banners

______ -ah, goddammit... I just finished typing all those Cybername urls and now I've gotta do this? Awww... well, you ______ can pick from arriveat.com, 1.gs, arrive.to, backdoor.to, call.to, clicks.to, directme.to, fastlink.to, gateway.to, ______ geo.to, gofast.to, mov.to (huh?), over.to, rocking.to, sitio.de (I'm assuming this means site on down to...), ______ soar.to, surfin.to, theportal.to, trip.to, visit.to, arrive.at, bouncing.to, dig.to, easypath.to, fastway.to, ______ ______ fromhere.to, hoo.to, hover.to, invite.to, launchpad.to, mouse.to, piggy-back.to, say-hi.to, swoosh.to, tunnel.to, ______ welcoming.to, xooming.to, zapping.to, & zy.to

______ -alack! There's still bloody more? Geez, I don't even care if I spell properly anymore...Well, you can stick up ______ your butt hole the arts.gs, club.gs, coolurl.to, edu.gs, g3.to, gosports.to, home.gs, japan.gs, k9.to (Perfect Dark, ______ anyone?), moviefans.to, musicfans.to, mypage.at, portal.gs, secretgate.to, street.to, theforce.to, worship.to, ______ benvenuto.to, benvindo.to, bievenue.to (pardon my French, but this means "welcome"), indice.to, and ______ ______ everyone's favourite, willkommem.to

Paklinks - their site is Linux friendly, meaning I can't guide my way through it, so I'll just bet they have pop-ups ______ somewhere

______ - one man, one voice: ivanf.paklinks.com... sounds intimidating, eh?

Redir.as - you've gotta love these guys; they don't need no ads whatsoever

______ - Well, they've got heart but they just don't have the ballet, because the only url they offer is redir.as/ivanf; um, ______ I'm not typing very well right now because I just watched an old episode of Gargoyles and I feel so sorry for ______ Goliath... poor little bugger...

Rename - requires either a pop-up ad, delay page, or banner

______ - gives urls like binaries.at, celebrate.at, choose.at, discuss.at, echat.at, egroup.at, faq.at, headlines.at, here.at, ______ join.at, laugh.at, learn.at, lookup.at, member.at, now.at, off.at, only.at, outdoors.at, performing.at, pray.at, ______ program.at, read.at, resource.at, stay.at, stop.at, study.at, themovie.at, vacation.at, & webindex.at

RSL.net - nope, nadda dope; no ads whatsoever are needed to kurb this canine

______ - only one type of address is available: www.rsl.net/ivanf

TheGovernment - IvanF's a Member - well, thegovernment is one of my favourite redirection companies but not ______ because of its ad policy; it requires pop-up screens, but just like every other redirection place here that I was ______ too lazy to write more for, it should have a choice for a delay page or banner too

______ - the url I signed up for in 1999 was thegovernment.com/area51, but there's a whole assortment of those little ______ bastard redirection links: dial.to, yeah.to, bike.to, arise.to, honk.to, reflect.to, jolt.to, scout.to, leaping.to, ______ spank.to (oh baby...), glance.to, falling.to, okey.to (sounds like something I might say... okay...), flap.to, ______ ______ tumble.to, offer.to, clever.as, lovely.as, brave.as, hip.as, happy.as, drive.as, playful.as, powerful.as, funny.as, ______ cheerful.as, smooth.as (does anyone here have dreams of skin that tastes like silk?... um, nevermind...), ______ ______ welcome.as, born.as, sing.as, play.as, & jump.as

______ -whoo... you wn't believe how much relief me feeling right now and no, I'm not jacking off (you know guys, ______ there are stuff out there besides sex... well, probably...); you see, this is the last redirection service that I'm ______ typing on this webpage and then I'm a free man again! Well, until I get chained down to do another page, but ______ that's a story for tomorrow... well, here are the cooler urls: fbiagent.com, darkhole.com, thedreamer.com, ______ blackuniverse.com (somehow, this seems to suit you, Meagan... think happy thoughts and we can happily go ______ insane together...), crazydude.com (did somebody call me?), lostland.com, stupids.com (ok, somebody did call ______ me...), thespaceship.com, cyber-dude.com, electrocuted.com (this I bet will be everyone's favourite...), ______ ______ mrlover.com, lastsale.com, mreinstein.com, punched.com (I wish I could, I wish I was... oops), ______ ______ ______ theadventurers.com, taxhater.com (Meagan, you seem to be getting popular here...), & I think I've signed up for ______ this one too: game-genie.com

______ -and yes, I've said it before & I'll say it again: I know I'm not funny, ok? So eat Lamb Chop for all I care...

UPDATE - well, TheGovernment is closing down around November 2000... just got the e-mail about it, and just ______ letting you know...

TSX - IvanF's a Member - Well, I can't get into my account anymore but I'm pretty sure these tsx guys need a pop-up ______ banner to jack off with

______ - I signed up in 1998 when I saw the cdrinfo.tsx.org site; I was buying my first recordable CD-ROM at the time ______ and when I went to the cdrinfo site, I had no idea is was using a redirection service; it looked pretty ______ ______ professional, so if you want an ivanf.tsx.org address, sit down by the water cooler and pretend to eat cotton ______ candy

Ulimit - well, considering they're not blasting into my face that they have no ads, I'm betting that they'll stick pop-up ______ banners through every hole in your arse that they can find, and that's a hell of a lot of whores

______ - they offer urls that make no logical sense like Bill Clinton nippling on a wet diaper: fr.st, ca.tc, be.tf, ______ ______ com02.com, com4.ws, bsd-fan.com, java-fan.com (uh, keep that French forsaken language away from me...), ______ linux-fan.com (ditto, except we'll try on a wet t-shirt for fun), unixlover.com, mac-fan.com, mailme.org, best.cd, ______ mp3.ms, fr.fm, & t2u.com

URL Redirect - well, they keep closing the bathroom stall door on me, locking me out of their website, but if they're ______ not close, they probably will need pop-up banner or some other cookie batter crap... mmmm, macromedia...

______ - there's a decent selection of delectables to sit on tonight: urlredirect.com, kunani.com, uutel.com, ______ ______ webdialup.com, workaholic.net, netaholic.net, netmedic.org, icqpage.com, isthebest.com, & iscrazy.com

V3 Redirection - IvanF's a Member - Ok, they require a pop-up banner or a regular frames banner, but I think ______ everyone has seen a V3 site by now; they're like the AOL-like verison of the internet... uh, I mean, internet ______ urls...

______ -ok, my current urls here are hello.to/ivanf, come.to/ivanf, w3.to/ivanf, move.to/ivanf, and I probably have a ______ dozen others like zip.to/ivanf or drive.to/ivanf or something; I've had an account since 1997 but I really do ______ hate this company like I do lukewarm water... I mean, they keep buying out every other company. Some of the ______ urls they bought out that I sorta signed up for were all.at/aquinas and i.am/ivanf; I say we take our iMacs and ______ chuck them at our monitors to show these guys who's boss! Who's with me?... um, allo? Is anyone there?...

______ -here's a run-down of their huge list of urls (forgive me if I miss a few thousand, but there seems to be as many ______ urls here as there are bugs in Windows9x!): go.to, on.to, get.to, run.to, fly.to, surf.to, welcome.to, page.to, ______ change.to, switch.to, scroll.to, window.to, browse.to, redirect.to, back.to, forward.to, walk.to, travel.to, ______ transfer.to, connect.to, dive.to, bowl.to, jump.to, drop.to, board.to, listen.to, zap.to, fade.to, talk.to, how.to, ______ turn.to, quickly.to, bounce.to, hop.to, kiss.to, bite.to, drink.to, easy.to, flying.to, hey.to, messages.to, ______ ______ vacations.to, & warp9.to (ah, crap! This one was my favourite at Direct.at! I'll bust every locker in school with ______ my head if I have to, but I'll stop this V3 company yet!... um, they're not going to delete my accounts now, are ______ they? Uh oh...)

______ - and the list goes on and on: beam.at, been.at, start.at, direct.at, getit.at, more.at, break.at, mine.at, ______ ______ everything.at, yours.at, top.ms, seite.ms, hp.ms, germany.ms, fun.ms, fanclub.ms, chip.ms, gameday.de, ______ ______ playsite.de, virtualpage.de, mediasite.de, megapage.de, firstpage.de, mysite.de, videopage.de, musicpage.de, ______ hard-ware.de, soft-ware.de, tip.nu, notrix.at, notrix.de, pagina.de, mypage.org, rulestheweb.com, nav.to, and ______ God bless the child because it's the last one! shortcut.to... My God, how many companies can you buy out?

VDirect - fodderclaudedamn all these sites with url choices, because they always require you to have pop-up ads or ______ ______ something

______ - offers a few urls to chew on for brunch, including vdirect.com, inetgames.com, vdirect.net, webrally.net, ______ snapto.net, getto.net, emailme.net, netbounce.com, netbounce.net, and oneaddress.net

WebAlias - IvanF's a Member - there's a pop-up banner, but I'm not sure if Buffy the Banner is in town

______ - geez, I signed up to this company just last year (1999) but I just can't remember but I signed up for; I probably ______ had something like hardwarez.resourcez.com, hardware.latest-info.com or something; anyhew, you can try to ______ understand Mission Impossible 1 theMovie or you can get an url like sail.to, up.to, way.to, got.to, escape.to, ______ learn.to, browser.to, thrill.to, ivanf.andmuchmore.com, ivanf.veryweird.com (if only dreams were made of ______ latex...), ivanf.radpages.com, ivanf.webdare.com, and ivanf.uncutuncensored.com

WebMask - they shouldn't ask you for anything because they have no ads whatsover but you never know... the rabbits ______ could be anywhere, anyjerk...

______ - well, once again, the single people come last in the marathons, because this place only gives you a ______ ______ ivanf.webmask.com url

WhoHasIt? - well, I've heard this has no ads whatsoever but then vhy doesn't it advertise the no advertising on its ______ advertising front page?...

______ - I'm too lazy to be stupid right now so I'll just tell you it has urls like ivanf.has.it, ivanf.does.it, ivanf.knows.it, ______ ivanf.shows.it, & ivanf.rules.it

WorldLight - you can choose between the vile banner or the Michael Jordan pop-up

______ - this company ain't that great considering its redirect url seems longer than most regular ones: it only offers ______ http://worldlight.com/myhome/ivanf

Zooming.to - requires a very small but still annoying banner on top

______ -thank God it only offers the zooming.to address; I just got back from typing all the over.to ones, and I feel like ______ Chicken Soup without noodles right now

Zwap.to - for now, does not require any banners or pop-ups but may later on; they simply ask you to link back to their ______ main page

______ - has urls like zwap.to, zwitch.to, zlap.to, zmack.to, zlip.to