Y2kk Update: You know... I've been noticing a real problem in my writing style as of late... the thing is, I used to never actually swear in writing... I used to never use any word harser than the word, "damn", that I picked up from those Star Trek: Next Generation episodes all those innocent, innoculous years ago... but the thing was... as soon as Grade 12 hit, I started getting into the groove of things, and decided that I would use the word, "goddammit", all throughout my US History movie presentation, if only to make certain lines with religious implications sound more poignant... but the screwy thing was, I opened a floodgate doing that... just go ahead and check my Grade 12 and Grade 13 Y2kk Update archives, and you'll notice a huge shift in the goddam way that I wrote things... as soon as I started using the word "goddam" a couple times, it became an addiction... an obsession... and before I knew it, I was sucking dicks at the Olive Garden, to fuel the money needed for my new affliction...

Since then, "goddammit" to me has become as innocent and superfluous as a stream of water... but the thing is... right now, I'm not happy with a certain other word that seeped into my vocabulary, starting from when I failed my course last year, actually... coincidentally, actually... the thing is, I now use the F-word so many goddam times in Y2kk Updates that it even disturbs me, because I swore long ago to never use the F or SH words in my life... sure, I was only six when I made those claims, but still... a promise is a promise, no matter when it was made... and the thing is... if only as an homage to the legacy that was my former self, I will now officially do my best to just write one update - yes, at least one update - where I don't use the F-word, not even fucking once...

...

... oh, wait...

...

Fuck.

...

... ah, screw it... I already fucked up... Anyhew, since I have absolutely nothing of interest to write this week, I've decided just to copy and paste my Tweakui update here, just to seem like I actually wrote something this week to the untrained eye. So enjoy... it wasn't a bad update, or a Bad Santa in Bad Company update... it's just that...

... it felt a little too... normal, I guess... but nevertheless, enjoy... if you can enjoy Thanksgiving leftovers in italicized form...

"No, I'm not dead... thank you so much for caring... although considering how rarely I update this supposed flagship website of mine anymore, I might as well be considered dead... dead, I said... because all things considered, with all good things coming to an end, honestly, who throws a shoe? Honestly? When was the last time I actually updated this Tweakui page of mine? God only knows... along with those few readers of mine who'll actually check the date of my last update, but that's besides the point...

The point is, I still don't really have anything to report... well, nothing out of the ordinary anyhew... Everything's just been <gasp!> normal for me, or Normal Again for me at least, I'm sad to say... Sure my computer is on the Fritos fritz again right now, sure my cousin's been complaining about the Welchia virus killing his new computer softly but surely (serves him right for getting an 17" LCD monitor for practically goddam free... grrr... jealous arrgghh...), and sure I'm getting screwed royally in school... in marks at least, and not in the places that I always hoped I would get screwed in university... if that sounds good, that is... So you see? Nothing out of the ordinary... absolutely nothing out of the ordinary of the everyday, whatsoever... because sadly, all the above for me?

It's all Normal Again, I always say... whatever the hell that's supposed to mean...

... but... well?...

... there was one, tiny, tinsy, itty bitty thing that bugged me quite a while back, I'm afraid... I was pissed off as hell that day, considering it was a Saturday afternoon by then, and I frickin' had to wake up at 7 am in the goddam morning, to get up and go to some stupid ass, university co-op seminar on the goddam weekend... The seminar itself I whined and complained and kicked like a baby about on my download site all those weeks ago, but the aftermath of my weekend at Bernie's or whatever kind of crap?... well... that was sadly quite a bit more interesting than anything those socially elite retards at the podium had to say about the co-op presentation...

Because you see... as I waiting in line at the McDonald's at Toronto Union Station, something just a tad bit peculiar was going on with the girl in front of me... First of all, I shouldn't known things wouldn't move smoothly with a mouth like hers, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean... I mean, just from the way this girl was dressed, you could easily surmise that she was some sort of mountain climbing, vegetarian hippie or some crap like that... minus the vegetarian part of it all, otherwise she wouldn't have ordered a burger at McDonald's of all places... but the thing was... umm... when her order finally came in... when the man serving her finally came to her with the Double Cheeseburger that I heard her explicitly order?... ummm?... the thing was... this was pretty much an exact quote of what she said... after she snapped...:

"No, DAMMIT! I ordered a Double Cheeseburger... WITHOUT cheese!!!"...

... and, umm...

... well?...

WTF?!...

The man sighed as he rolled his eyes, simply said, "yes, ma'am", since the customer is always right... and although it took another two or three frickin' minutes of me waiting in line behind her sorry ass, her double cheeseburger "without" cheese finally came in, and she finally left after inspecting the damn burger for the next two damn minutes of my life... and the saddest part of the whole exchange?... was that I was goddam stupid enough to actually order a double cheeseburger right after she had left... because the thing was... umm... I may not be 100% sure or 100% McDonald's Pure Beef sure that this was what really happened, but... umm... The Double Cheeseburger that I was served?... came almost instantaneously... and the thing was... umm?...

I think it was the same damn Double Cheeseburger that that god-awful, psychotic hippie in front of me had opened a can of whoop ass on, and licked and tossed with disgust...

And the even stupider part of it all?... heh... I didn't even complain... I just took the burger and left for my train... What the fuck was I thinking?... What the fuck was I smoking?...

Or the better question is, what the fuck was that girl smoking when she groped all over the double cheeseburger she actually did order, only to throw it back and demand a double cheeseburger without bloody hell cheese, of all things... Now, since that co-op Saturday seminar day, I've asked this very question to four different friends of mine, with none of them getting the answer right: "there's a simple solution to this:... Why the fuck would the girl order a double cheeseburger... without cheese?!..."... I mean, doesn't it ruin the whole damn point of the goddam double cheeseburger? Doesn't it defy the logic of ordering a burger with the opening title of "cheese"?...

Like I said, there's a simple solution to all this... the thing is, in North America at least, McDonald's has a different burger on sale each day of the week. On Saturdays, Double Cheeseburgers are on sale... and this hippie of a girl, was trying to goddam cheat the system and cheat The Man, by getting her double hamburger at the same discount price as the goddam double cheeseburger... and she sadly got away with it, although not without those token rolls of the eyes from me and just about everyone else waiting behind her worthless ass in line... but still... a deal's a Mcdeal... she had her break today, by practically breaking the man serving her and my goddam Double Cheeseburger in half... she got what she wanted (though I can't say she was Lovin'-It), and she certainly had a motive that a cheapassgamer.com guy like me would surely appreciate...

So that's normal then, right?... there's nothing technically wrong with her, right?...

... right?...

... umm?...

...

... no comment, I see...

... but still...

... like I was saying a long time ago, in this very update far far away, nothing's really happened in my life out of the ordinary... everything's been just rosy and peachy, at least in terms of normalcy... double cheeseburgers without cheese included...

So it's all Normal Again, yet again, I always say... whatever the hell that's supposed to mean...

... except...

... well?...

... umm...

It's just that... there was this other day, when I was strolling through The Bay (a huge department store attached to The Eaton's Centre, the most upscale mall in downtown Toronto)... and the thing was... first of all, I found it quite a bit odd that a fully clad, fully aged Nun, wearing a blue robe from her head to her heels, and about a half dozen rosaries on her neck and wrists at least, just happened to be strolling through The Bay as well, looking around at all the expensive clothes even though she could barely walk straight without tripping her 60 year old legs on that Christian gown of hers... but at first, I just shrugged the whole sight off before me. I mean, nuns have to shop too, right? She could be heading to the discount clothes section, to buy some stuff for some needy children as an early Christmas present, right?...

... right?...

...

.... umm?...

... the thing was... she didn't exactly head to the clothes department that I thought she would... because instead?... umm... the Nun sort of... headed straight to the sports wear department of this upscale store, where every single damn shirt was like a hundred dollars or more... and after I just stood there, astonished that a Nun, let alone a 60-year old lady, was starting to look at ski jackets of all damn things... the thing was... she then took a U-turn after browsing and bruising quite a damn bit, and then lo and behold, where did she end up checking next?... umm?...

... she started looking at the FUBU wear...

... the FUBU wear...

....

... the fucking FUBU wear?!? What the fuck?!?...

...

... umm?...

... no comment, I see...

The thing is, I doubt she bought any of the two hundred plus dollar shirts there. Hell, I doubt she bought anything in the store at all... but still... although she may have had a holy motive in mind (to examine commercial products to see how evilly they're priced or something, I hope?...), the thing is... umm... she certainly didn't seem to be disgusted with the clothes that she was looking at... she certainly didn't seem to mind the fact that they were overpriced so damn devilish... and hell, for a moment there, I thought she was actually going to try some of that FUBU shirt shit on!... and maybe, just maybe, she wasn't a real Nun. Maybe she was Jamie Kennedy with plastic surgery or some crap like that, or Michael Jackson hiding away from all his sexual molestation charges (no extra plastic surgery required then...)... maybe it was some actress from Ryerson university, still donned in full costume, doing all the shopping for her carnival troupe? Afterall, I've never actually seen a Nun wear that many rosaries all at once... but still... umm...

... umm?...

...

... definitely no comment...

... see no evil, hear no evil... right?...

...

... ahem...

... So like I was saying, my life's been nothing but normal since my last Tweakui update... it's true... it's damn true...

... because like I always say, it's all been Normal Again, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean...

...

... although...

... umm?...

...

... it's just that... umm... I know I should expect this and all, considering I go to University of Toronto engineering, one of the international student capitals of the known world... but it's just that... You see, I normally expect the people who come to Canada to at least know some English, or at least some Engrish or Engalish... or hell, AOL... even some Aussie English, the worst of the worst (though Chinglish speakers need not apply...). And for the most part, for the latter years and the latter day saints at least, that assumption holds true... pretty damn true... and yet?...

... umm?...

... apparently, knowing English enough to pass the U of T ESL tests certainly ain't enough... unless just being a graduate student automatically lets you pass every single damn English test with a bloody hell A even without doing a single damn question...

Because the thing is, I came into the computer labs one day, and caught my friend from Pakistan trying to talk to some graduate student from the Middle East about how to use his e-mail on the school computers... And the thing was, as soon as I got into my friend's visual range, he practically and suddenly just leapt at me, jumping at the opportunity to get the hell away from whatever hell he was in, leaving me with the Middle Eastern guy that he was calmly talking to just a second ago... so thinking that my friend's mad cow dash was sure as hell weird, I started out by being friendly, and asking the graduate student guy what he needed help with on the school computers... and what did he reply back?

... heh...

This was basically a transcript of our conversation...

Me: "Hey, welcome to U of T. You need some help with your e-mail?".

Him: "NO! I need help with my e-mail!"

Me: "... umm... alright then... I heard that you wanted to forward your U of T e-mails to your home account."

Him: "NO! I want to send my e-mails to my home account!"

Me: "... "

...

Me: " ... umm... yeah... that's what I said..."

Him: "NO! I want to send my e-mails to my home account!"

Me: "... yeah... well... okay then... Just let me make a forwarding file here... There. Done. Now, all you have to do, is write your home e-mail address in it there, and all your university e-mails will be directed there right away."

Him: "NO! I want to send my e-mails to my home account!"

Me: "..."

...

Me: "... umm... that's what I just did for you... Just write your e-mail address in the file here."

Him: "What did you do to my computer?!"

Me: "... like I said... it will now send your U of T e-mails to your home e-mail account..."

Him: "NO! I want to send my e-mails to my home account!"...

Me: "..."

...

Me: "... umm... right..."

...

... and?...

... umm?...

... okay...

... alrighty then...

... obviously, the conversation didn't get very far from there... for the next five minutes, I just kept on repeating myself to some Middle Eastern guy who could obviously speak English, but obviously couldn't understand a damn Canadian dime worth of a word of it... Eventually, I simply asked him to type his e-mail address into the file, and he did, not knowing what it was for, as if he had Alzheimer's disease or some crap like that... And after all the forwarding crap had finally been done for him? After ten or twenty minutes of this pointless crap? What did he say then, instead of a thank you?...

Him: "Okay! Now! I want to send my e-mails to my home account !"

Me: "... umm... right... you're welcome then..."

... and then I walked off... What else could I do, except maybe find a damn translator or some crap like that?... and yet this wasn't the only time in the past month that I got stuck with someone who simply refused to listen... Just the other day, as my friend was walking down the corridors with the Lego motor set we've been using for our Computer Hardware projects, some Chinese graduate student, with a voice just like Kermit the Frog's I might add, stopped us in the middle of the stairs (while my friend was still holding his fragile set in both hands, I might add... how considerate...), and said:

Him: "A Lego motor set! Can I have it?"

My friend: "No... It belongs to the school."

Him: "Oh... Can I borrow it then?"

My friend: "Umm... no... it belongs to the school..."

Him: "Oh... Where can I buy it then?"

My friend: "You can't buy it. You can only borrow it from the school for projects."

Him: "Oh... Can I have yours then?"

My friend: "Umm... no... you have to be part of our ECE341 class to sign one out."

Him: "Oh... Can I sign yours out then?"

My friend: "No. You're not part of our class."

Him: "Oh... Where can I get a Lego set then?"

My friend: "I already told you! You have to be part of our class to sign one out!"

Him: "Oh... Can you give me yours then? I promise I'll give it back..."

...

... and...

... umm?...

... no comment, I dare say...

...

... suffice to say, my friend sort of walked away then and there, while I was left to deal with the inept Bill Nye, the Chinese science guy, about why we didn't just hand him over about $500 in Computer Hardware equipment that was signed out in our bloody hell names... but still...

That's all normal, right? There's nothing out of ordinary there, now is there?... Like I've been saying, nothing's happened in my life that's even worth mentioning in the past few months of whatever kind of humped up, horny hiatus that I've been on...

... out with the old, and out with the new news, I always say... it's all Normal Again I'm afraid, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean...

... providing that?...

... umm?...

Well, you take the good with the bad, I always dare to dream to say... Because I heard some of the best damn news I've heard all year long just the other day on the news. It seems that the Orgasmatron for women is finally in the testing phases, and if you've been living under a rock, the Orgasmatron is just a little implant attached to a woman's spine, that induces sexual arousal and intense orgasms by just the flick of a switch... hell, apparently as they were merely installing the device in the first test female, she started screaming and moaning on the surgery table itself... now that's progress for you! And it's about damn time (although if I was the surgeon... I'd get a little distracted from that, don't you think?...)!... because you see, doctors have known for years now, if not decades, that orgasms are one of the most easily reproducible, pleasure effects in the human body. All it takes is a couple electrical impulses, with about the same charge you can send in a damn mouse click actually, to make a girl cum like there's no tomorrow... and the thing is... yes, I know... although Viagra is popular as hell with the men, the thing is, sexual fixer-uppers are still considered taboo for women, as most of them were so turned off by the surgery needed for the Orgasmatron that the doctors actually had trouble getting test subjects for the early trials... But for the first few women who actually did go through with the procedure?... according to the news, one of the women, who hadn't had an orgasm for four long years, had explosive orgasms each and every damn time she had sex with her husband with the implant on...

Now that's progress for you!...

... now, I really shouldn't be the one talking here... I mean, unless this implant can even make a guy like me look good to a woman, the thing is, implant or no implant, I'm never ever going to get someone to come to cum at this rate... As the ever horny, ever geeky, no-name whiner, the thing is... I'm a virgin today, and if Virgin Records has its way, the only luck I'm ever going to get, is making a damn vibrator work for goddam once with my goddam engineering skills... But the thing is... even though I know that my eternal desperation and sexual damnation will never, ever pay off in the end, I still can't stop thinking of the orgasmatron, and all the joys it could bring me... of all the hope it could wield... Because you see, all my life, I've never really cared about pleasing myself in bed. All I really care about, is getting a damn girl to have explosive orgasms in bed, twenty goddam times over in a single fucking night... Sure, I know that if I ever do find a wife and need some implant to satisfy her needs, that I would never truly be a man in the world's eyes, and blah blah blah... but do I really care? As long as the woman I love is hugging her breasts and holding her breath in a euphoric state after it's all said and done, do I really care whether it was my own goddam Dick of a dick that did the job, or a wonderful wonder of technology that I only wish that I had invented?... dammit, sure I have other aspirations in life, like getting a job to make my parents proud, or actually getting more than a couple of visitors to actually read my goddam website updates for once... but still... in all honesty, and in all travesty... truth be told, beautiful be bold... the thing is... All I've ever really dreamed of in life?... has been to turn through passionate, hot, hourly sex, an otherwise normal, sweet, succulent, subtle and shy, virgin of an everyday girl... into an always wet, always horny, always masturbating, silky as a slide, sex slave...

... and what?... WHAT? Is there really anything wrong with that?...

... wait... don't answer that...

... heh... just the other week... I admitted to one of my old friends over MSN Messenger, that ever since Grade 7 hit, I can't get to sleep at night without dreaming of tentacled, sex demon porn in my head... and this all started, long before I ever first caught a glimpse of anime manga porn in late high school (which is the best damn porn on the face of the planet, thank you very much...)... and I admitted this all to my friend, believing that as a fellow guy, he probably has the same damn affliction as I do... but... umm?...

... he claimed he had no fucking idea what I was talking about... and I have no reason not to believe him, but...

It's all normal though, right?... The dreams... they're normal, right?... the dreaming?.... isn't it?...

...

... isn't it?...

...

... hello?...

...

... ah hell, AOL, screw it all. Whatever I dream at night is my own business, I guess... and that's normal... I'm sure of it... I think... though normalcy is all relative... isn't it?...

...

... isn't it?...

...

... not like it matters. Because it's all Normal Again, I always say... the Cheeseburgers without cheese? The Nuns shopping in The Bay to sell FUBU on eBay? The guys at my own school who either refuse to learn English, or refuse to listen to a word that an underling like me has to say?

Yup... definitely... indeed, and for sures... It's all just relative, as far as I'm concerned... it's all just as goddam, fucking normal as you can get... for sures on that... Absolutely nothing has happened in my life the past few months of any worth of words in detail... except?... well... except the little things in life you treasure... except the little things in life that are as ordinary as they come, of course...

... of course...

...

... because of course...

... it's all Normal Again, yet again, I always dare to dream to say... it's all Normal Again, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean..."

Y2kk Update: Nothing was going to ruin my day. Absolutely nothing...

Okay, well, a mid-term right after the lab I had to have, was sure as hell going to piss me off and ruin my day, now wasn't it?... On Wednesday, I spent the whole of the morning fetching lego pieces for my Computer Hardware lab, from some disgruntled desk jockey who sure as hell looked like he needed to surely get out and get some (although he sure as hell looked like he's had more than me... not like that's hard or, umm... even possible not to do...)... Well, the only problem with this pretty picture, was that I spent the whole of that day with my lab partner, piecing together some foobar lego scanner for our project due later in the day... with my last probability mid-term happening just a half hour after we finally rid ourselves of our goddam lab... giving me no bloody hell time to study inbetween... But the thing was, even though it was embarrassing to keep going back and forth, back and forth, between the university buildings everytime I forgot to get something on our lego shopping list, only to face the grapes and overfilled balls of wrath of that goddam lego god guy, who couldn't seem to stand my incompetence one damn bit or byte... well?... the thing was, even though my partner took care of 90% of it, it was still fun as hell just to piece together lego motors and rotors and axles and crap like that, if only to relive and relieve a childhood past, where the only legos I had were the ones that I literally ate... And when we finally got the lego scanner up and running in the labs, although it took us two damn hours more than it should've just to get the damn thing to work, the thing was... it was a job well done when it was all said and one... and squid rho quo, truth be told, suffice to say... I actually enjoyed all the Assembly programming and testing and hair pulling I had to do to figure out why the damn gears on the damn machine weren't spinning... And after that? Nothing was going to ruin my day. Nothing was going to ruin my goddam day... Absolutely nothing...

Oh, wait. I forgot... I had a mid-term in a fucking half hour...

... but the thing was... I was completely unprepared for this last Probability mid-term, like I was for the past two. But I had somehow lucked out on the first mid-term, so I was begging the Lord up above for just one more fluke rather than a flunk... and although I still would've preferred the former, the thing was... umm... I fluked out another way... I got neither...

The mid-term was damn easy. So damn easy, that I was talking about it with my friends after it was all said and done, as it were a damn high school test... the first of which, since... well... high school... Now, I knew I didn't get perfect. I already knew which questions I had messed up and which I was sure about... But you see? That's the thing! Me and my friends were actually pissed off and complaining that we didn't get perfect, even though we had only missed a single goddam mark or two each! Goddammit, we were acting as shallow and superficial as we did in bloody hell high school, and I was goddam McDonald's Lovin' It!... The only problem was, yeah, I was going to get more than 80% on the test, and my friends were all going to get 90s... but what was the class average going to be? 85%? 90%? 100%, goddammit?... leaving us with what kind of bloody hell final exam?... anything's possible with the goddam geniuses leftover in my goddam class... Like I said before, I would've preferred a fluke, or even a goddam, got milk puke, where I somehow magically get a mark higher than anyone else, even if I sure as firery hell don't deserve it... but still... an easy test and a good mark, are a... umm... well... an easy test, and a good mark in the end, I guess... And because of that? And because of the joy of finally feeling free of mid-terms, if only until my two damn tests arrive, coming this week... well?... There's no doot aboot it. Truth be told, bold be bold, short story short and simply put, I'm proud to say... Nothing was going to ruin my day... Absolutely nada. Zilch. Zada. Omega. Megatron. Rien. A zero hero... Be a zero hero! Yup, absolutely nothing was going to ruin my fucking day...

... until I reached the train station, at least...

... I haven't been seeing her on the train for quite some time... you know who I'm talking about... I'm talking about her, the girl I always end up talking about, of course... and I thought she's just been MIA on the train ride home lately, because either her family gives her long wily rides back for no apparent reason whatsoever, or because I simply don't go to school anymore unless there's a bloody hell mid-term to write... but as always, I guess I guessed wrong... and in the end, I definitely wrought wrong, if there's ever a way to wrong a wrought with a right...

The thing was, I was sort of waiting for her that Wednesday night... as if we had a date... I mean, even though I claim to hate her guts, the truth of the matter is, I do miss her presence... the last time we were together? I didn't say much on the train. I was still too damn pissed off at all the times she pretended to care what I was saying to her last year, only to shove it back in my face with all her bloody hell rhetoric in the end... So the last time we faced each other, eye to eye? She had her eyes closed, and mine were eyes wide shut... I wish the truth of things were as good as I make it sound, but really... since I had nothing to say to her that night, and since she's been stone cold silent around me for ages now... all she did was fall asleep beside me... and truth be told, just having her there made me feel better about myself, and better about the long, cold night, even with all the conflicted feelings I still feel about her, feel for her, and blah blah blah...

But she hasn't been around lately... hell, she's been more cold than ever towards me... I haven't seen her on the trains for the past goddam month or some sort of crap... and care to take a wack at why?...

... Because she's finally got a reason to whack off, that's why.

I couldn't find her at the train station that Wednesday night, no matter how long I waited for her arrival. So assuming that she was picked up by her parents again or something, like she was a long time ago, I eventually gave up on the waiting and whining game, got pissed enough to take a piss, took a brief installment in the stalls of the rooms at Union Station, and when I finally popped back out?... well... as I was walking and trotting towards the train, I heard an all too familiar voice... the voice makes glass scream enough to shatter, but that's besides the point... And when I finally looked up and saw that it was her, right in front of me, without even noticing that I was there?... I was about to tap her on the shoulder, if only so that I wouldn't feel goddam lonely for the night, and if only so she could have someone to sleep with again tonight... if only the nature of things were as gullible as my goddam words do sound... but the thing was...

She wasn't lonely. Because she wasn't alone. And she wasn't with a lesbian clone... I fucking figured out why I haven't seen her on the trains for the past month, even though she's been goddam, fucking taking the goddam train...

... it's because chances are, she's getting fucked... in a matter of speaking, at least...

Let the courting rituals begin... if only before the court of IvanF...

...

... hrmmm...

...

That bitch.

...

The thing was, she was right there in front of me... laughing and whooping it up with some handsome, Caucasian guy whom I've never ever seen before... And I instantly realized why I haven't seen her in all the ages of ashes of Eden, as soon as I listened in on their conversation... The thing was, they were headed to the front of the train. The front of the train is the closest you can get to the fucking parking lot as soon as you reach the train station in my town... And judging from their conversation? He obviously had a car... So you don't have to be a fucking, fluking, probability genius to put one and one together, and realize that she's being taken for a fucking, jolly rancher of a good ride....

It's the car, isn't it? Chicks dig the car...

The thing that upsetted me so goddam much after I just watched those two goddam bitches (I wish they were both bitches... at least I wouldn't mind losing her to lesbianism, the ultimate fantasy of all men... but I digress...)... well... the thing that peeved my goddam puppetry of a penis so goddam much?... Was that after two years of becoming her so-called close friend, she still never, ever goddam sought me out on the goddam GO train... not goddam once... she would always sit in her own bloody hell cart, at the rear of the train, and I was always the one that had to go to her favourite seat in order to just goddam talk... For two bloody years, I've been sitting in the handicapped car (... don't ask...). For two bloody years, I've kept telling her that I'm always there, in the middle of the train, except when I'm with her (and except when I'm skipping school, which is almost every damn day, but I digress again...)... And for who? For what?... For two bloody hell years, she's never, ever, even once gone over to my section of the train to see if I was there, or to simply sit and talk (and yes, I'm including the times I wasn't there). Not once for two, fucking hell years, has she ever gotten off of her pretty, little ass of a derrier, at the rear of the train, and sought out my goddam three's, menage a trois company (well... maybe there were a couple times in first year... no, wait... that was me again... nevermind...)... And yet after one month? After just one fucking month? My bitch - the bitch - was following some no-name guy, all the way to the absolute opposite side of the goddam train, completely bypassing the handicapped car that she fucking well knew that I would be in, as if only that goddam pimp of a fucker with the car mattered in this goddam, whole world?... Is she really that desperate to get fucked, that she would fuck me over, without even having the courtesy to goddam fuck me?

... but you know... for a moment... just for a moment... she did stop by the handicap car... that Wednesday night... and it almost looked like she was going to say something to the guy she was with... that maybe they should wait for me or some crap like that, or at least check if I was there... but after just a mere second, she brushed off whatever guilt or liability she was goddam feeling... and that's sort of what hurt the most... the fact that she knew I would be there, and yet in the end, she simply did not care... she never goddam cares...

... I knew it... it's the car, isn't it?... it's always the car... chicks dig the car... and bitches always ride the guys who drive...

... well, to be honest, she's too chaste to do anything... knowing her, she's probably thinking this whole "driving you home" thing that what's his name was talking about, was actually some innocent gesture of friendship and kinship or some crap like that... what utter bullshit! But comical bullshit in the end, if you're anyone but me... But still... I still thought nothing in the goddam world could ruin the night for me... and truth be told, even though I was still yearning and pining and sort of yeasting inside for her (with a lovely yeast infection to boot... I think...), the thing was... as much as it pains me to see her with another guy... well...

At least she didn't completely ruin my day... Because as soon as I got home? Somehow, just somehow, in a bravado act of trying to win our favour for the best professor of the year award (not like I'm going to bother to vote...), our Probability professor somehow had our mid-terms marked and online the moment I arrived... And how did I do? Exactly as I thought I did. I pulled an 85%, without even goddam studying on this glorious, goddam day... although if I had only paid attention to what the hell I was writing, I would've fixed the simple damn arithmetic errors  I made and gotten 90% or more... But the class average? My friends and I had joked it would be 90%... well, we were wrong... It was 89%. Go figure... and even though I was still pissed off as hell that my chances with the girl I always talk about, are even lower than the 0% probability that it was just a couple months ago... but oh well, AOL... at least nothing now was going to ruin my day... at least nothing, absolutely nothing, could ruin my night any goddam longer... for the night was no longer young... hell, I'm no longer young...

... forever young... forever diet coke... forever semi-evil...

I'm getting too old for this shit.

... and then I checked my online mark for the Linear Systems mid-term I had the other week... the one I got absolutely massacred on...

...

Fuck.

I got 36%...

... ominously similar to the mark I got on the mid-term of the course I fucking failed last year... And the class average for this stupendously hard mid-term?...

71%.

Fuck.

... okay...

That did the job...

... that ruined my night...

Sounds like so much goddam fun, now doesn't it?

Book closed. I'm going to sleep.

ATI: Well... I'm going to sleep... after I write this... and after the Lead game, of course... But first, saw over at Rage3d that ATI released a hotfix for some OpenGL problems with All in One Wonder cards. Go ahead and see what it changes at: http://www2.ati.com/drivers/wxp-w2k-wme-catalyst-aiw-ogl-7-95-031028m-011775c.exe .

ATI: Catalyst 3.9 drivers came out a while ago... guess I missed the boat on that one... But Firingsquad does have a report on what's new and improved in it. Read it before you go to sleep and watch hockey night in Canada at: http://www.firingsquad.com/hardware/catalyst_3.9/ .

Y2kk Update: The doorbell rang at my house yesterday night... Thinking it was my parents coming home or something, I fled to the door like a booster chair infant on Christmas Eve, ready and willing and oh so Shenhua waiting for Chinese take-out like a sick dog drooling all over their balls for their master (wait... does that sound good?...). And as soon as I got to the door, what did I found peeking through the egged and not so frosty windowsill?...

Children.

... wait a second...

WTF?

Children?!?...

... goddammit, it was Halloween...

... and what? I completely forgot about it? What the hell?...

The thing is, you know you're getting older when you don't even know Halloween is around the corner... either that, or I'm just going real senile from video games and goddam university... Because I keep reminding myself not to forget Remembrance Day this year. I keep reminding myself of all the presents I want to buy my family for Christmas (even though technically... all my money does come from my mommy, but still...)... But for the very holiday that was coming up first, for the very goddam holiday that was actually upon us, I completely goddam forgot that there would be children coming to my door?!... and goddammit, I may not have tricked or treated very much in my past, but I remember enough to know that I absolutely hated the houses that didn't give a crap about the kids that were coming to them... though honestly, this year wasn't very different in that retrospect. My parents never give out bloody hell candy, and I'm not willing to buy the good stuff to simply hand out for goddam free (and I'll never degrade myself into handing out that crap, toffee cheap ass stuff certain houses always used to give away...). But the thing is... this year, I didn't forget about Halloween because my parents forced me to. This year, I forgot about Halloween...

... because I actually forgot about Halloween...

... and somehow, that just scares me... more than even that Angel Halloween episode did on Wednesday...

... wait... hmm... ummm...

... oh, nevermind... I guess I am getting senile...

Anyhew, what scares me even more, is that I had to go to goddam school today... on a goddam Saturday morning?! I had to fucking get to school at nine in the fucking, Saturday morning?! And why? Because of a PEY co-op seminar crap thingy that I had to attend, otherwise I'll be kicked out of the goddam useless program... not like it'll even matter in the end, considering what idiot of a company would actually hire a slobbering, Halloween forgetting, sloth like me?... over all the guys with 4.0 grade averages and references up the wazoo, literally (they probably sleep with their managers... both male and female... to get that many goddam jobs...), but that's besides the point... Because the point is, today I sat in a class full of people I didn't even recognize by annoyances, listening to some pratty, petty PEY coordinator talk about how to improve our goddam resumes (and considering I have nothing to show on mine, the only way to improve it is to goddam lie...), and how we have to go to some mandatory one-on-one crap session to iron out the chinks in our portfolios or some crap like that... And when you factor in the fact that I had to friggin' wake up at 7 in the morning for four hours straight of this crap, you better believe that I was sure as hell pissed off when it was all said and done...

Well, until I checked my marks online at least... Because you see, I've been sure as damn hell afraid of getting my computer programming mid-term mark back for a while. My 61% on the second probability mid-term pretty much proved without provocation, that my 90% on the first mid-term was a fluke, as I reported long time ago, in an update far far away... and considering I had embarrassingly failed my programming mid-term last year with 42%? And considering I had just as embarrassingly failed my Digital mid-term last year with a 35%?... and considering I had half assed my way to just a 38% on my Computer Organization mid-term this year?... what annoys me to the greatest nth degree, is that none of these exams were hard! When I was fucking writing them all, they all felt easy as pie... although I'll never know if that's true, considering I'll never get some pie... and then what?! For stupid, easy, goddam exams... stupid, little mistakes that would've costed me nothing in high school, ended up giving me failing marks in goddam courses I find goddam simple... and goddam comprehensible... So obviously, I was a bit apprehensive when I finally was able to check this year's programming mid-term mark. But suffice to say, I finally broke my string of bad luck... although I know I'll never be able to break my habit of sheer stupidity...

I scored 83%. That's sure as damn hell better than what I thought I'd get... considering I thought I'd get nothing... hell, even a 35% would look good by my original standards...

And then I checked my mark for my first Digital quiz, and saw that they gave me 6.5 out of 10, which is 5.5 more than I thought I'd get, so... despite my entire day being wasted by morning travel and a completely incompetent co-op seminar, I personally consider today to be quite a good day in the end... or at least, a good day to die...

Except the Leafs just fucking lost 7-1 to the Philadelphia Flyers... and uggh... I was betting my success for the Linear Systems mid-term coming up this week on the outcome of that god-awful, bloody hell hockey match... but oh well, AOL... you win some, you lose a hell of a lot... back to no-name studying I guess...

ATI: Hmm... vierd... Diamond is back? Saw over at Rage3d that the company that merged with S3 (and soon went down under after that), has re-emerged to offer ATI and nVidia products... that's very weird indeed... But welcome news in the end, even though they'll never return to their 3dfx glory days at: http://www.diamondmm.com .

ATI: Looks like Firingsquad has a review between graphics on ATI cards and graphics on nVidia cards... after the latest nVidia driver optimization fiasco, I wouldn't be surprised if the latest games on the GeForceFX series are comprised of goddam stickmen... but you can see for yourself at: http://www.firingsquad.com/hardware/imagequality2/default.asp .

ATI: I've been expressing interest in PCI Express since... well... forever actually, since I think it's been in the works as long as AGP has, actually... But anyhew, ATI has finally declared itself a firm supporter of the new firmware or whatever. Read the latest report on this at Research Capital at: http://www.researchcapital.com/docid.cfm?docid=4738 .