Y2kk Update: Fucking strangely enough, I'm not really exhausted right now...

Could I simply be too damn busy, and too damn horny, to actually be that damn tired anymore?...

The thing is, I've been swamped at work...

Now, I know, I know. I work at the motherfucking government. How much work could there possibly be?...

The thing is, it's pointless work. It's work that literally makes no logical sense whatsoever. It's work that's completely a waste of taxpayer's money... and to be honest, a complete waste of any programmer's time... I mean, who thinks up this shit that they give us, anyhew?...

And no, it ain't hard work. A first year student or a high school programmer could probably do it better than I currently can...

... but still, it's still a lot of work in the end...

I mean, I had three projects to multitask myself on this week...

Like I said, none were particularly hard or anything. It's just that... considering they're all multi-week projects? They sure do take their toll on you as the weeks go by...

To make matters worse for me, I don't even have this weekend to myself...

I'm stuck doing my goddam thesis proposal for my goddam design project at university. The damn paper is due next week, and I really don't know where or how to goddam, bloody hell start...

I'm already getting the impression that my partners are getting annoyed with me though, like I was afraid they would. Just not this soon in the ballgame, I originally thought...

Yeah, I'm at work for the majority of the day. That forces them to meet me during after hours only, which is something of course that they don't want to do... And of course, I'm bloody hell tired after work most of the time, considering I wake up at goddam 7 in the morning every frickin' weekday. So obviously, I'm not exactly the most open and liberal minded towards all their brainiac suggestions, at fucking eight at night in a fucking university computer lab...

I don't want to let them down, though. So yeah, along with my chores this weekend, I'm stuck wasting my time with a goddam, bloody hell paper that I have to do well... It's not just my ass on the line from this, afterall. I hate having partners that I can fuck over, you know...

Still... I just find it strange though...

Last week at this time, I felt so goddam exhausted, that I literally zonked out while writing my goddam download update...

This week though?... I don't know...

... guess it's the dreams I've been having...

... and of course, the horniness...

Because now that class is back in session?...

Hot damn, there's a whole lot of hot asses just roaming about...

... but I digress...

...

Well, I finally got my first paycheck in the mail for my motherfucking new contract at work...

Yes, siree...

For the past 2.5 weeks of my work life? I got a brand new spanking cheque of...

... wait for it...

... ahem...

Eighty-two dollars...

... ahem...

... eighty-two dollars...

...

... umm, wait a tick...

... huh?

$82?

WTF?!?...

WHAT THE BLUE FLYING FUCK?!?...

... but yup...

... that was the paycheck I got this Wednesday...

Now, my new contract does say that I'm supposed to be paid almost $20 an hour for my government services...

... but according to this whopping $82 cheque I got?

I was paid about ninety fucking cents an hour...

So woohoo! I'm finally making my Chinese parents proud!...

Because finally I can officially say, that I goddam belong to a goddam Asian sweat shop!

... sniff sniff... I've never been more proud of myself than I am right now...

...

Well, I was kinda laughing about it for the past few days. I mean, wouldn't you freak out if you just got paid $82 frickin' dollars for your past 90 hours of goddam slave work?

Hell, I didn't even get those $82 dollars in the end! I mean seriously, the government taxed me thirty fucking dollars off of my fucking eighty bucks?...

WTF? They taxed me a shit load, off of just eighty two dollars of shit?... Talk about extortion here....

... and... yeah, well...

... don't cry over me just yet, Argentina. I got the whole thing settled...

Turned out, my real check was just a bit late this week...

Apparently, the $82 one was some leftover, retroactive pay from my summer student contract, and nothing more...

So yeah. After asking around and calling about, I got a cheque in the mail worth about $1600 from the government. Which ain't half bad, all things considered...

It still doesn't cover all my pay for those first two and a half weeks of mine. Apparently, my first two days on the new contract are still missing from my paystub, since my new contract's start date was incorrectly entered into the goddam database at the time (wish they had told me that at the time... two fucking days off would've been better than fucking nothing...)...

But my supervisor says he'll get me those two days back, so what the fuck do I care?...

Fucking payday. Finally...

Maybe that's why I don't feel fucking tired and mindfucked right now?

I actually have motherfucking money, to motherfucking waste on motherfucking shit...

... not that I wouldn't waste cash anyhew, even if I didn't have any income...

... on shit like goddam, motherfucking tuition, that is...

... and goddam, motherfucking homework on the weekends...

Because it all sounds like just so much goddam fun, now doesn't it?...

... well... at least I got eighty fucking bucks, and this lousy fucking T-shirt to show for it all...

... and a fuckload of new horny bitches to stalk...

... but that's a story, for another day...

Y2kk Update: I'm so fucking exhausted right now...

Why the fuck am I even writing?

If I thought that the past few weeks at work have been daunting and draining, then somebody please slap me in the fucking head once my fucking design project at university fully gets off the ground...

Though on the plus side this week? I only felt sick for the first couple of days...

... but does that even really matter in the end?

... because now?

Now, I'm so fucking tired...

... that I can't even sleep, you know?...

My head feels like a brick of wood. An oxymoron that may be, but still...

There's like a huge feeling of a void in my head, weighing me down like a fucking anchor...

Literally all day long, I've been making fucking half-yawns. The fucking kind of yawns where you keep on feeling a goddam yawn coming up inside of you (and maybe a bit of fucking throat vomit as well), yet your body is just too fucking tired to even bother with the whole fucking motion... it's like a fucking hiccup that just won't get the fuck out...

And late last night? I don't know why, but my brain just clicked on at one point while I was sound asleep, and I fucking woke up, for really no fucking reason whatsoever... Was it because I was anticipating work or something? I really don't see why, considering I still had a fucking hour until my fucking alarm clock would sound me the fuck up...

And no matter how fucking dizzy and spellbound I was, I couldn't get fucking back to sleep. I couldn't fucking figure out why... I mean, I wanted to sleep. I wanted to fucking get some rest so fucking desperately... And yet I was just stuck in some sort of fucking half sleep paralysis, with my eyes fucking open but my fucking body completely unable to move, until my fucking alarm clock did finally kick me out of my fucking vegetarian, vegetation state...

... plus, I had a huge boner for about an hour... I really don't fucking understand why...

The thing is, this has been my first week of both working full time (well, on contract), and fucking going to school to work with my friends at night...

On Tuesday, I didn't get home until 11 at fucking night... only to have to fucking wake up at 7 in the morning the very next day...

And last night? Thanks to the first deadline coming up for our thesis project, I didn't get home until at least motherfucking midnight... only to fail to get any fucking real rest, before getting up at fucking 7 this morning for work all fucking over again...

Seriously. My brain has completely shut down.

I almost tried to wipe my ass with my toothbrush this morning. That's how fucked up I've become.

My whole body is just so fucking exhausted, that I feel like I'm not even here...

An out of body experience, perhaps? Or that I just fucking wish I could be out of my fucking body right now, so I wouldn't feel so fucking tired all the damn time...

You know that feeling? The feeling you get, when you can feel your brain weighing you down (so you know that it's still there, at least), yet your body is so fucking numb that you can't even feel your thoughts or your fucking mind?... or some shit like that?...

What am I running on anyhew right now? Fucking reserves? Fucking battery power?...

Why am I even writing this? Shouldn't I be getting some fucking rest already?...

...

Well, if there's any decent part about staying at school until 11 at night to get my damn project milestones done, it's the fact that I'm finally back with friends again...

... and of course, getting fucking embarrassed in the process all over again...

... ah, good times...

The thing is, I'm the kind of guy who "finds" things, according to my friends...

... which means, I take a bunch of things that don't belong to me...

... that Toronto Metropass I found in the grass the other week, for instance...

The thing is, last night my partners and I were spending hours upon fucking hours in the computer lab, just fucking brainstorming and writing down fucking measurable objectives and their respective metrics for our project...

That was Thursday.

Now, for some fucking reason (and I still don't get why), practically half of the contents of my school bag went missing when I last checked on Tuesday night... Sure, nothing that was missing was valuable. But there was some sentimental shit...

... like my old skool calculator which can't display digits properly anymore... the fucking green Google pen I got for free when I crashed their party last year... and oh yes, my fucking useless 32MB USB memory stick that I had bought for $9 CDN about half a year ago...

... but still, I wanted my fucking USB memory stick back...

Now, at the computer I was sitting at while doing my thesis shit at school, there was this 512MB memory stick just lying there on the table... I had been at that fucking computer terminal for about three fucking hours straight by that time, and nobody had fucking come to claim the memory stick as their own...

So thinking I was safe, I just casually took the goddam USB thingy in my hand, and plopped it into my bag... I wanted a fucking replacement for my lost 32MB one. And now I finally had one...

... another hour had passed...

That's when some fucking asswipe of an asshole came storming through the door. He was being completely disruptive to everyone actually doing work in the lab, as he was probably some fucking first year mechanical engineer or something, thinking like he owned the whole fucking place or some shit like that...

... I did notice one thing though...

... the first place he looked, before disrupting the rest of the room?... was my own goddam computer terminal...

And after he had fucking annoyed the entire population of the computer lab? Guess the fuck what?...

... kinda figures...

... he came back over to me...

... and simply asked...

... "Have you seen a USB key around here?!?"...

... and, umm?...

... what else could I say?...

... with all my friends watching me?...

... I simply retorted back...

... ahem...

"... yeah... I've seen it..."...

... I kinda rolled my eyes... as I stressed the "seen it" part...

... then before I could think of a goddam lie, I reached for my bag...

... unzipped the damn pocket...

... ever so reluctantly pulled his USB memory stick out of the satchel, and out of my ass...

... and passed it over to the fucking asshole, who obviously didn't even bother to say thanks...

... pfft...

... considering I had tried to fucking steal his motherfucking memory stick, mind you...

... but still... where the fuck are his manners?

I then turned to all my friends.

They were all just staring at me...

... I felt like some fucking five year old fatass kid, caught in the act with his fucking hand in the fucking cookie jar...

... and of course, that's when my buddies all starting balling in laughter at me...

God, I felt pathetic...

And what else could I do?

It was so fucking embarrassing... to be caught fucking "finding" something, and then being dumb enough to tell the truth and actually give it the fuck back to the person you stole it from...

Eh, I guess sure you had to be there, to actually find the scene funny...

But if there was one damn reason why that night was worth it in the end, no matter how fucking brain drained and fucking dead I felt this morning?...

... it was because fucking laughing at my own fucking pathetic misfortune, for a good fucking five minutes straight, is worth more than any fucking hour of sleep in the end... as far as I'm concerned, at least...

I was so fucking embarrassed...

And so fucking exhausted...

So welcome to my new fucking existence, I suppose...

... as I've still got a whole fucking year of it to fucking endure...

Y2kk Update: September the 11th...

... I can't believe that just a few years after the worst massacre on North American soil in our very fucking lifetimes, that people like me are already forgetting its fucking anniversary...

I guess it's the same for all things. I need massive banners in the newspapers to remind me of the significant days of the years... and all that the newspapers have these days up here in Canada, are rants and ravings and reports that Bush should be kicked out of office for mishandling the Katrina crisis, so... and of course, the occasional musings about fucking gas prices, as usual...

The thing is, 9/11 was such a pivotal moment in my life, that it just burns my heart that I didn't even think of the date today... or the significance of it, really... until I least saw a mention of it on the web in the morning...

... I guess I just.. kind of... forgot, until then...

... lest we ever forget...

Kind of sad, really... that 9/11 is slowly becoming just another footnote in history, at least according to fucking internet age guys like me...

...

Well, I hate to use this phrase on the anniversary of 9/11...

... but I've got bad news... and more bad news...

The bad news is, I got my contract extended at work.

I'm now fucking locked in for another two bloody hell months there, thanks to fucking signing my name in blood on Friday...

... and the even worse news?...

... I fucking signed my name to a fucking extension of my contract...

What I mean is, I fucking really wanted full time fucking status. Getting 50 to 55 thousand a year would've been nice... But what I really wanted from being full time, was to be able to take fucking sick days and fucking vacation days off, with fucking pay, like every fucking person around me...

... I get none of that with my current fucking contract...

While obviously, I should just be fortunate that I'm still making around $19.50 CDN an hour, which is more than enough for now (considering I have pretty much no expenses in my life, except for public transit travel), I'm still so fucking pissed that I'll be fucking reduced to fucking contract work for the next fucking two months of my life...

... which means what?...

... which means, for two fucking more months, I've still got to fucking work hard...

... not that I've been actually working hard, but still...

... all just to earn the right to slack the fuck off from that point on...

...

I've been sick and tired all fucking summer long now, and I wish I knew fucking why...

It hit me again this week. And the week before that...

... I've fucking become a hypochondriac or something...

... because why the fuck do I always feel fucking sick all the time now?...

... I never did before...

... yet my forehead constantly feels warm now, my lips feel all dry, my throat gets all raunchy, and I can barely keep my fucking eyes open at times...

Is it because of sleep? I have a hard time believing that it is... I mean, I don't go to bed at the 1 or 2 am in the morning that I used to when I started working. Instead, I end up going to sleep between 11:30 and 12 pm each and every night... which may not be early enough. But it shouldn't be fucking enough to fucking make me sick every single fucking morning when I wake up at 7:00 am...

Is it because of the air conditioning at my work? I really don't know... When I step out for a walk, I end up feeling much healthier than I do at my fucking cubicle. The Sun and the cleaner air and all that other summer shit really seems to help things out...

Yet even on the weekends, when I sleep until 9 am (wish I could sleep in later, but the fucking Sun and my fucking morning shits keeps waking me up when I don't want to...) and can bask in the suburban air all day long? I still end up feeling fucking sick to my stomach... I still feel ill every single fucking weekend, as if I have a constant cold fucking up my forehead and throat. And I fucking don't know why...

Like I said before, I'm sick and tired of always being fucking sick and tired...

... I mean hell, even the 3-day Labour Day weekend couldn't make me feel better, as I was still feeling goddam flushed out and fluish by the time Monday was done and over with...

What the fuck is wrong with me?

It can't be that I'm under stress or pressure... I've had stuff to do at work, granted. But it's all so damn much lighter of a workload than I ever really had at school (then again, I could always do my school projects on my own time... I don't have that same freedom here...)...

To be honest, I'm starting to think it ain't about my work, and that it's more about my own fucking basement...

Last year, I spent practically half the summer in the basement. And at times, I would feel goddam ill, simply because all the dust and debris my dad stores down there, fucking kills my lungs whenever I talk on MSN Messenger, play video games, or watch XVID movies for hours...

... I've been doing the same thing this year... though before I got this job, it didn't seem to phase me one damn bit...

But when you combine the fucking air conditioning at work, with the fucking terrible air I get in my own fucking basement while surfing the fucking net?...

... the thing is... my computer is my life...

... but I think it's starting to fucking kill me, considering the conditions I keep using my fucking computers at...

When I started work, I didn't ever really feel sick... I thought it was because I was still refreshed, and I thought it was because I had zero pressure on me whatsoever (I was a minimum wage paid student afterall, who could just jack off in his own little cubicle and nobody would fucking care...)...

... but I'm starting to think that I was never really sick before, because my brother during the sweltering heat waves, would sleep in the fucking basement...

... and his fucking, rotting, bile of a stench would keep me away from that goddam basement computer of mine...

And now that he's gone?... eh...

... maybe I just miss him or something...

... but either way, I'm still fucking sick...

... it's fucking ruining my weekends...

... and it's fucking driving me fucking goddam mad...

...

I did catch one decent break this week though... although I feel like a guilty con and a half over it still...

I was doing a parcel run, bringing down a collection of folders from my own office to the other government one down the street...

... while I was walking the path, I noticed on the side a fucking shiny card in the middle of nowhere...

... I picked it up...

... and it turned out to be a fucking monthly adult, Toronto Metropass... worth about $95 CDN, actually...

I stood around there for a couple of minutes, shifting my eyes around, checking if anyone was looking for their lost public transit card...

... the thing is, nobody really seemed to care... and nobody showed up, looking for the damn thing...

... so I had a fucking dilemma...

Should I give the damn card to lost and found or security (in the government building nearby), and hope that the right person ends up collecting it later in the day?...

... because to be honest, I sure as hell would hope that if I ever lost my fucking $95 public transit pass, that somebody would have the fucking decency to give it back to me when I fucking notice I lost it...

The thing is though... I didn't want to give it back...

... I'm a fucking cheap ass... and I've already done the good Samaritan thing before...

I mean, when I went to the golfing range about a month and a half ago, I noticed next to me a pure graphite driver, worth about $100 CDN or some shit like that at least...

Since nobody was claiming it, I used it for the better part of the hour... and goddammit, was its swing ever goddam sweet and bliss...

... with that fucking driver, I could hit the ball perfectly straight nine times out of ten, and fucking hit almost every shot to at least the 175 yard range, no matter how fucking weaksauce my awkward swing may be...

I so ridiculously wanted to keep that driver...

... but I just couldn't, you know?...

... the good guy in me gave that fucking thing to the fucking Lost and Found at that driving range place...

... and to be honest? I've kind of regretted it ever since...

... I felt that same kind of feeling of finder's keepers, when I found that goddam Metropass this week...

Nobody was looking for it. I made sure of that... I would've given it over in a heartbeat if somebody ever asked...

... but since nobody ever did?...

... and since there was no name on it?...

... well... I am the no-name whiner afterall...

... and I didn't go to Lost and Found...

... I just kept it...

... and have been using and abusing it ever since...

Do I feel bad about it though?

Actually, yeah... I do...

... about as bad as I feel about forgetting about 9/11 this year, though...

... which means, not very much at all...

Considering I'm always fucking sick and tired of working shit, a monthly Metropass would do wonders for getting me fucking home with the minimal amount of fucking time...

... and provide for me the best fucking way in Toronto, to get over to my University whenever I need to join my partners for my Design Project at school this year...

... I still feel like I did the wrong thing, however...

... even though chances are, that Metropass may not have even belonged to a person from that government building or whatever...

... still, guess it just shows how goddam naive I can be...

And it all sounds like just so much goddam fun, now doesn't it?...

... and, well?...

... if it wasn't for the bad news... and the even worse news after that?...

... if it wasn't fucking 9/11 today?...

... and if I hadn't forgotten about it all, thanks to being always fucking tired and sick?...

... then maybe, it would be fucking fun for once...

... just for once... for the first time since fucking work started, at least...

Y2kk Update: Ah, Labour Day...

... I never thought I'd see the day, where I actually care about fucking Labour Day...

I mean seriously, when was the last time I really gave a shit about it? When I was back in elementary school, with Labour Day marking the day before I had to leave the safe confines of my home for the shitfest known only as school?...

The thing is... now I have a new reason to dread Labour Day...

... yeah, I only have two more weeks left on my contract at work. And it'll be nice then, to finally get a breather after that, or some shit like that... with some hope of getting a new job in the government, as the HR division I work in is literally only a phone call away...

... but what if I get extended? Shit, what if I get a fucking longer contract?...

... sure, full time status would be sweet, as finally I could take vacation days off, and sick days with pay, and other benefits shit like that...

... but chances are, they'll offer me a fucking contract... a contract where I fucking would force myself to go into work, every single fucking day of the week...

... I'd simply go insane from that...

... but there's no fucking way in hell, I'd ever turn that kind of money down...

... or would I?...

...

... the thing is, right now, at $20 an hour? I'm finally making some decent cash out of my job. And it was about time too, since I was going fucking batshit insane from doing the kind of programming job I was doing before, at just fucking Canadian minimum wage...

... but even with my new income, my spending habits really haven't changed...

... I'm still a fucking cheapass...

Besides the Nintendo DS I bought for myself as a reward, I haven't spent my cash from this summer on anything that I wouldn't have bought normally, even without a job... I mean sure, I wasted a couple hundred dollars or whatever on shitty ass video game collecting, games that I would probably never touch in my life again beyond the five minutes I tried them... but I buy that kind of shit anyhew from my regular fucking allowance. So really, what's the big diff?...

... too bad then, that I'm spending a lot of cash on my parents this week...

... fucking Labour Days...

The thing is, I guess it's good I'm spending the cash on them this weekend.

It was my mom's birthday... and I sincerely never want to forget her birthday, like I did two fucking years ago, or some like that...

I helped pay for the family dinner we had for her. And in an hour from now, I'm taking my parents and grandparents out for lunch as well, since I still owe them the routine "Chinese-first-born-son-gets-a-real-job" sort of meal deal... I promised them that a long time ago. It's finally time to cash in, since I finally am getting paid something more than shitty asstastic minimum wage I was getting...

... the thing is though... that's not the only thing I had to spend money on this weekend...

My siblings also wanted to get my mother a birthday gift... I really didn't think it was a good idea to surprise her, since my mom absolutely hates surprises. But since my two siblings are completely whitewashed against the whole Chinese notion of actually asking the giftee what they want for their birthday, they went full out with their surprise sort of shit... and while I didn't have a say in the creative decision, I promised to pay my fair share of it, at least...

... and, well...

My siblings did come up with a decent enough gift, I suppose... My brother has always hated the fact, that my mom literally sits on a fucking lawn chair in her work den all fucking day long, as she does accounting or handles tenant phone calls for our family business and crap like that...

... so my siblings picked out for her a leather chair... not a really expensive one, about only a bit more than $100 CDN, but still...

... the thing is?... well...

My mother really loved the surprise. Or claimed that she did, at least... I mean, the thought always counts, right? And since I didn't spoil the surprise for her, I was kind of happy and smug and content, when she called me up so suddenly at work, and thanked me for the surprise gift being wrapped at her doorway...

... the thing is though... I don't really like the chair that my siblings picked...

The ironic thing is, my mother chooses to sit on that fucking lawn chair of hers. Half because she didn't want to take the good chairs in the house away from me (even though I told her to keep them herself), and half because... well, quite frankly? The lawn chair fits perfectly for her...

She's a tiny little mom...

... and with the new chair? She literally needs one of those back support things to take up room, just to lean back in the leather chair, or else her legs won't touch the ground and she doesn't feel comfortable at all...

Sure, we can just lower the chair, as it's air pressure adjustable or whatever sort of crap. And we did lower the chair to almost its bare minimum, or min height needed for her to reach her desk at least...

... and she still can't seem to reach the goddam floor...

I mean, it was nice that my siblings wanted to surprise my mother and everything. And the thought definitely counts in this day and age...

... and maybe it's just my fault for not taking a look at what they were picking, as maybe I could've found the faults with their plan before they ever happened?...

... still... I don't know...

... sure, the gift didn't set me back much cash, but...

... I don't think my mom really likes the chair much at all...

... and simply because it was a gift from us? She'll force herself to use it...

... it'd be hard manual labour for her, just to sit in that goddam chair...

A new reason perhaps, to fear and loathe and fucking respect Labour Day?...

... well... along with the fact, that I have to go back to motherfucking work again tomorrow...

... motherfucker...

... on my mom's fucking birthday...

So happy Labour Day, people.

Enjoy it while we can.

Y2kk Update: Fuck.

This was supposed to be my fucking swan song from work...

Fuck.

Because guess what?...

... the fucking unexpected and fucking impossible happened...

I mean seriously, what are the fucking odds? What are the fuck chances?

WTF?...

Fuck.

...

It was about a week ago, last Thursday actually, that the head supervisor for my business planning unit at the government, called me into her little cubicle for something... I thought at the time that she just wanted to discuss some things about my project before she left for her two week vacation... And perhaps, she would finally tell me whether I was going to get a goddam going away party, like the other favoured students around the branch were receiving as they oh so dearly departed... not that I was ever invited to any of them, mind you...

... but the meeting wasn't for either of those things...

... I mean... WTF?...

She extended my contract?

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?...

I mean fuck-goddam-nabbit, what the fuck is going on here?

I know that the head honchos at my branch tell every student that there isn't a budget to keep them around, but I was actually believing it this year, considering they weren't extending any other students that I knew of... and I still don't know of any others to this day...

Now, I have to admit, I was kinda feeling light-headed and fucking schizophrenic when I was given the so-called good news...

On the one hand, I was beaming. I had achieved what I didn't think I'd ever achieve - to actually be important enough at fucking work, to fucking be given a fresh new contract... It was nice to be appreciated, you know? And it felt good, knowing that my parents won't beat me over the fucking head with an ugly stick, for fucking not getting extended at work or some shit like that...

But goddammit, I may have been beaming outside, but I was fucking screaming for dear life on the fucking inside...

I wanted out, goddammit!

I was so looking forward to sleeping in come the next Thursday, and fucking doing what I fucking do best...

... just sitting on my ass, and fucking doing nothing all fucking day long...

... I miss those glory days, you know?...

... sniff sniff...

I've been sick and tired of fucking work for so fucking long now... I know I've only been working full time for two damn months so far. But that's two damn months with absolutely no vacation time, and no sick time taken off, even though I was feeling morbidly ill for over a fucking week or so...

I just want to sleep in and fucking get some rest, fucking goddammit... Is that really too much to ask?...

... but really... how the fuck could I ever turn down this new contract, that I was handed on a fucking titty platter?...

Granted, it was a short extension. It only added another three weeks to my existing tenure, so it's not like I sold my soul to this office place for the rest of my fucking unnatural life...

... I may get no benefits still... but if everything goes to plan? They just might offer me a full time position by the end of my three weeks or so... And getting some fucking paid vacation time, would really help ease the fucking pain of fucking waking at 6:50 am every single fucking morning...

And really... how the fuck could I ever possibly turn down such a huge fucking pay raise?...

I mean hell, I've been paid fucking minimum wage for the past two fucking months, for the same kind of C# .NET programming job that should demand at least $15 an hour at a bare minimum...

... and, well?...

... I suppose the $19.70 they're now offering me is a start...

Because hell, I'll literally make more fucking money in the next three weeks, than my previous two fucking months here combined...

Average it all together, and it turns out that I'm still only earning about $11 or $12 an hour in total...

But that sure as fuck beats the hell out of $7.45...

... and I like money...

... money, money, money...

... if there's any fucking point to work in the world, it's the fucking love of money...

...

I bought a Nintendo DS the Monday after the so-called good news. Half because of the announced price drop, half because I'm a Nintendo whore, and half because I could finally start affording the shit I want... provided that I didn't sign a fake contract the Thursday before, and that I don't get fucked when it comes to the new timesheets that I still haven't gotten in my work e-mail so far...

But I still really, really, ridiculously wish that I didn't have to wake up early in the mornings, and fucking go to work every single fucking day...

... on the other hand though?... eh...

... I don't have to go through the job hunt and interview process again... not for a while at least...

... I don't have to worry about my parents being on my fucking back 24/7... it really does suck when parents fucking rape you in the ass all day, Oedipal and MILF complexes aside...

And fucking goddammit? How the fuck can I possibly turn down $20 an hour? Twenty motherfucking dollars an hour is more than the majority of my programming friends are now making, and they're the ones working tons of unpaid hardcore overtime hours... Of course, their job contracts actually last a year, while mine is only three weeks. But hey, the more freedom for me, the more fucking better it sounds in the fucking god-awful mornings...

... and, well?... I guess staying put exactly where I am is for the better, for now at least. Afterall, I wouldn't have fully finished my job by Wednesday, even if I had put in all the unpaid overtime I was expecting to... I mean true, I would've had a working product, and all the user manuals to boot. But the whole web service would've been so untested and so unpolished in the end, that it just wouldn't have sat right in my gut to leave it that way, you know?... programming is sometimes sort of a personal art to me...

And yeah, I do like the people at my place... now that the bitch is gone...

I kinda wish I could get a fresh start in a new place though... especially after what fucking happened in fucking working public (which I still haven't written on my MSN site, mind you... half out of nonsensical fear that the bitch would someday read it, to be honest...)...

... but still, I got an extension, here and now...

... she didn't... and I did...

... she fucking left on Friday...

... but Wednesday was meant to be my swan song...

... my fucking farewell to being a fucking slave to the fucking government...

But guess what?...

Guess the fuck what?...

... against every single fucking law of nature and the universe?...

... I, the no-name whiner, actually am appreciated enough at work to be given a second fucking chance...

... and a fuck load of more money...

... and I guess that stands for something...

... though I personally would just prefer to sleep the fuck in...

... and get the fuck out...

As there's just some things that money can't buy...

For everything else, there's the fucking Canadian government...

... 'cause they really must love to waste money, if they're willing to waste it on me...

On the one hand? That's priceless...

... on the other?...

Fuck.